Locked Outside

(thanks to kasport.com and vagabondish.com for the images, respectively)

As the Olympics progress, everything else doesn't seem to "progress". I shouldn't worry about the world's business, but I'm still irritated by it. The IOC is just trying to avoid embarrassing the host country, for the sake of peace and humility. I understand throwing an investigation itself is enough to humiliate China, whether it turns out good or bad (because if a situation is so bad to the point where an investigation is needed, it must be pretty horrible), but things still need to be resolved.

That's why I absolutely hate humiliation (whose side am I on?). Humiliation for the right of everyone else—that's okay. Humiliation for one's miserable purposes—that's wrong. Who doesn't love seeing villains in shows and movies get mortified? Certainly, you wouldn't want the innocent person be the one that suffers.

My aunt (no, another one this time) once recounted to me stories of her teenage days. She was new at her high school—she knew no one, and no one knew her. Her English wasn't great, and she hardly could follow her teachers' orders. Then, P.E. arrived. It was time for them to run. My aunt ran, as they had supposedly instructed. Around they went, jogging around the entire block in the vicinity of the high school (which, may I say, is pretty giant). She started to lag behind, along with some other students. By the time she was on her last lap back, it was only her and another girl, jogging for their lives (more like grades). Suddenly, the door to the school closed, and once my aunt had arrived, there wasn't an entrance back into the school. Everyone else was already inside, and as they looked out, they held their stomachs and laughed and gagged at how stupid my aunt and the girl was. She was absolutely humiliated...and tired. She managed to gasp back all the air she had lost, but the girl next to her—well, she collapsed (no, for real). The school eventually had to call the ambulance to check on the girl, who was completely knocked out. Turns out, there was an additional instruction—run 3 huge laps within 20 minutes, or be locked out. For those who missed the memo, too bad.

I really cannot understand how the school can do such a deed. For one thing, pushing a person to run in a set amount of time (a very tight amount of time, that is) is ridiculous. Unless this was for the track and field team or cross-country team or something, this is unreasonable. Since it's a normal P.E. class, you should allow the students to run at their limits, and give them verbal support. Soon enough, they'll improve as they go on.

Secondly, closing the door in the failing person's face isn't going to help their self-esteem, or improve anything whatsoever. Your students are laughing at the humiliation of another student—does that seem human?

Anyways, my point is, being locked outside of yourself is going to make things worse. You're not controlling who you are, or what kind of person you are. And you know what—if the other people won't stop hurting you, they'll just get hurt themselves someday. Isn't that right, Miss Karma? ;-)

Aid the rest...and gain a lot.

-the clam.

I Hold

You know you shouldn’t hold it, you know you should drop it, leave it behind. Forget about it, but you can’t. You hold it in, whatever it is, a loss, a victory, a mistake, a misunderstanding, or humiliation. You hold it, and you feel it. You don’t embrace it, you try to shun it. But you hold onto it anyway. You never let it go, you never let it fade. It haunts you always, maybe not at every second or moment of your life, but it fades back into memory occasionally or perhaps constantly. It could be the littlest thing in the world, but it will build up. It will build, grow, soon enough, it could be this massive object that creeps behind your footsteps, and waits for you to fall. If you fall, and this object has grown enough, then you might not get back up. You could be pinned down, and forced to let it go. You could be forced to do the thing you were so afraid to do, the thing you refused to do, would not do. Finally, it is gone. But the manner it which it left may not be so subtle. Now, a new burden could be placed on you. The eyes all around you see you, watch you, and focus on nothing but you. The pressure builds, the weight becomes unbearable. You know you shouldn’t, you know, especially when you feel it building, but who cares really.

When you sit back, and you look back, you wonder, what were you even looking for in the first place? What were you searching for? What made you do this in the first place?

-digital delay

the dark knight!