Hello

Oh hey, look who's back. It's been a while, but I thought it'd be nice to come back. Kinda like breakup sex, or make makeup sex, either one. Anyway, I've been doing a bit of thinking (as in...thinking right now as I make this article...), the kind that comes in minuscule amounts (my favorite kind!). It's bad for you to think too much. But, what is it about the past that we agonize over? I know it's a cliche, and people like avoiding cliches, so I'm not being cliche by being cliche, so it's all good. But, the past contains everything we don't want it to, and as human beings, we are forced by our insidiously nasty nature to constantly ponder about our wouldas, couldas, and shouldas.

People will say that there's no point in remember the past, but I still think it's a good idea to remember how old your kids are, if you have any. That's the funny thing about the past, there are good things (memories) and bad things (memories/STDs/bitchy-exes)). But sometimes those good things are bad, and those bad things are good (funny ol' world isn't it?).

Sometimes those good memories do nothing but taunt you. They wag their happy little asses at you as you sit there staying dumbfounded at how happy their asses are. You wish you too, could you happily wag your happy ass at miserable suckers like yourself. You wish you could revisit those moments, relive them. Maybe, if your a lucky bastard, those memories will give you strength, instead of suck it out of you, like a Delilah (thank you 30 Rock). But shame that they often don't. And then, there are those bad moments, like when you got that STD, or when you lost something very important, or you did something stupid becuase you were a stupid bitch. Now, maybe you'll learn a thing or two. That counts as a good thing right?

-digitaldelay

Back and Forth

Recently, I've gone to visit a bunch of old classmates and some close best friends that I haven't seen in years. Living 400 miles away has made it difficult for me to see them often. Sure, we've talked over the phone every other weekend, IMed and Myspaced, kept in touch, but I was anxious to see what had really happened during my absence...what things have changed, how many people are different...

After all the I miss you!'s and the Wow, you've changed!'s, after the awkward silence and hugs, things weren't so "different" anymore. Being less and less awkward, I actually felt like I fit in, like I never really left.

I caught up, for the most part, and some of the old gang got together to hang out...I was happy: it felt a lot like old times. The memories we shared, the things we did, the people I missed...they came back to me all over again.

During my absence, our time apart, I had expected the worst: being forgotten, having my friends let go and move on...But even so, I kept in touch, hoping a piece of each of them would stay with me. I was glad we picked up right where I left off, talking about the past and all that. We spent a while remember things, from way back in third grade, sixth grade...Smiling at good times.

Not only that, but we dove into the future. Making plans for a road trip when we turn 18, having fun in Europe at 21...Even as far as to fantasize our adulthood, all of us being neighbors living in big houses somewhere beautiful, working hard and making money, watching eachother's kid(s) grow up to become the best of friends (like we once were, still are, will always be...)! And all other things to do before we die.

In a way, me being apart has somewhat given our friendships stronger bonds...I mean, we're even talking about spending forever together!

Sometimes, it's just better to hold on (I'm totally contradicting my last article, right?). Especially if it's worth it. And for great friends, it always is.

From the Past,
From the Future,
From Forever,
-my.great.ESCAPE

(Picture credits to Photobucket.)

Forgive or Forget?

Letting go of something could be pretty hard. We're talking: letting go of memories, letting go of dreams, letting go of love...It is natural in life to just let go.

There are those times in your life when you just have to accept what is going on and move on. Watch the baby grow up to be a child, learning to live without that blankie...and the proud parents watching their Little One grow up to be an adult like theirselves...

For some people, it takes longer to recover from a relationship than others. Letting go of love can be pretty hard! I mean, you've been spending "forever" with this person, and all of a sudden, you're just not? One day, you'll wake up, and realize that you have to start over. Begin a whole new chapter in your life; let the old one collect dust. It has had its time and fame, and now, you can move on. You can let go of the past.

That's right. The PAST is the key to this subject. How many times have you done something in your life that you ended up regretting? How many of you live your life without regrets?? When something happens, should you forgive or forget? Forgive and forget? I don't know about you, but when it can be hard for me to admit I am wrong. I just can't accept it. But of course, sooner or later, I would eventually have to accept it, move along, and forget about it. If it was an honest mistake? Forgive that friend, let go of the situation, move on. Everybody makes mistakes, and half those people deserve a second chance. For some, a second chance is all they need...

And if you refuse to let go? How much longer can you keep holding on?

It does not have to be the end,
-my.great.ESCAPE.

(Image credits to Photobucket.com)

Help! My Favorite Place Has Been Invaded My Vampires and Now I'm Being Held Captive!

It’s the worst of times when you find yourself slapped in the face- Both physically, and mentally. Either way, the worst feeling is when the one thing you’d grown to love is snatched away, or turned against you. You’re just left clinging for your life, hoping that that one thing will somehow, in some way, go back to the way you knew it.

You’re just desperate for things to be normal again, but things are never normal. Your hopes are at the top, but sometimes there is no choice but for it to be shot down. You learn, but you learn the hard way. You feel like crying, and in your head all you can tell yourself is ‘it’s okay, you’ll be okay’. Sometimes- most of the time- things do get better. Other times, they only get worse.

Imagine yourself, going to your favorite book shop/coffee shop/ record shop, every day. You have friends, you know how it runs- you know how the system works. Then, suddenly, everything changes. The owner dies, and next thing you know there’s a for sale sign on the outside door. You think over and over that the change won’t be that big of a change. You think that maybe if enough people are against it, nothing will change.

Until a few weeks later, you walk towards it unexpecting- thinking that everything will be the same. Only to find it empty- gone without a moment’s notice. You realize then how important that book shop/coffee shop/record shop was to you, and when suddenly, not a month later, there’s a new book shop/coffee shop/ record shop, you realize that it’s something that can’t be replaced. It’s too important to you.

You see, all the people are still there. All the same people who’ve known you by name, or have seen you around. The only thing is that this time around, there are also the new faces nobody’s ever seen before. You should be glad they’re there, but you’re not. You miss having good old Rhetta bringing you a coffee/ recommending a cd/ getting you a book. The coffee/books/cds just aren’t/isn’t as good as before. Everything is tainted with that newness that’s screaming in your face.

You didn’t realize how important something was to you until it was gone, and now you’re just left desperately hoping that somehow time would turn back and everything would be back to normal. That the same table you sit at by the window still had ‘Fck whatever president on it’.

Things have changed, and sometimes it’s not okay, and you don’t want to be on your way. You just desperately want things to be the way they are in your head. Desperately.

What Goes Around Comes Around;

-Karma Police

Just One Moment, Frozen.

The way time works for someone like me is this: Fast, quick, and unnoticed. For a while now, it seemed like my life moved with me; so therefore nothing changed. My Mom was still younger than she looked, my Dad still had that too large belly, and my brother- although married- was just my brother.

Maybe it was because everything came in a pace, but sometimes when something throws you off, it really throws you off.

It was any other day, and it was cold out despite the fact that it was almost Summer. I exit my Grandmother's house, and walk towards the parking lot, where my Father's car is. As I'm walking I see my friend's mother walking out of the hall leading to the lot. I smile at her, and suddenly, running out of the hall behind her is her youngest son.

Now, my friend had moved here two years ago. He has a family of five: three boys, and one Mom. No Dad. Nothing. Well, when my friend had first moved here, the youngest son was just a baby- he couldn't even walk. This all registered as I watched this little human run by me, laughing gleefully.

And I realized at that moment, that a lot of time had passed. Two years had turned a baby who needed his mother to carry him to a little boy who could run around and see the world. For a minute, I just stood there, shocked.

I remembered all this stupid stuff that I never really remember until I'm sad. I remembered seeing my friend before he was my friend, when he was the new neighbor, and he was kneeling down and comforting his younger brother, who then was just a little boy. I thought about how that little boy was now in the fourth grade, and I thought about how my friend wasn’t as I thought of him then. He wasn’t kind and caring, he ditched class and did who knows what.

And I just stood there, and for the first time in who knows when, I just felt incredibly sad. I realized I was growing up. There was no Neverland, and no matter what I wouldn’t be able to imagine myself a meal in a few years. I wouldn’t be carefree, and the responsibilities that are already beginning to pile up are going to pile higher.

Eventually of course, I continued walking, feeling incredibly bittersweet. But now, when I think back to that one moment, that little boy rushing past, I just smile. It’s amazing what can trigger such a feeling, but it’s moments like that that really give me a reality check.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic,

-Karma Police

Wonder here Wander there

There are so many questions I ask and wonder everyday of my life. So many that I forget and some that stick and often pop up in my brain again. Questions like 'What Is Love?' (Baby don't hurt me), and 'what is the meaning of life?' are rather hard to answer, yet isn't that what the mind naturally thinks up. The questions you can't seem to find the answer are the ones that really make you think; are the ones that really stick to you.

I don't know where this article comes from, and for once I'm actually happy about that. Maybe I just want to pull a digital delay and shoot for nothing and write a genius piece of writing? I don't know, but I can still be ruthless if you let me.

It's just that about five minutes ago I remembered my day. I remembered playing crazy eights and then I remembered being little. I remembered The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and again I wondered about infinity. I mean can you really feel infinite? Can you really feel like you can never end and your just... I don't know pure happy?

To me, feeling infinite is looking at your grade and discovering you in fact did get a good grade in math. It's having a day spent laughing and making memories, it's listening to a song that makes you feel, it's glancing at that horizon and finally seeing the ocean. I don't want to tell the world about these moments, and I know I am now, but honestly, it's these moments that really make me happy.

I mean, honestly, haven't you had that moment of time when you just wished that the stars stayed bright in the sky forever? That you could just forever stay on the shores staring out at the sunset? That the your favorite song of the moment wouldn't eventually get old?

I don't really know if people think these things and I honestly don't know if I'm making sense right now. I really don't. Maybe it's lack of sleep maybe it's because I'm listening to Something Corporate, maybe it's because I've been on the computer too long. But what I know is that sometimes, I wish I could feel the way a character in a book feels. I wish I could see 'the flash of anger in her eyes' or 'the loving smile he gave her'. It all seems so... fairytaleish. But then again isn't that why? It's a fairy tale. Nothing but a story.

Anyway; What goes around comes around.

Karma Police.