whatever happened?

It seems that this blog is beginning to whither down to a little more than nothing. It's been fun, but goodbye? I hope not, but I'm pretty sure it's soon to happen. Fortunately, I had a spout of boredom and decided to take a click onto AM at 12:42 AM in the morning. I was going through the articles, and amazingly I had to wonder how much I've grown since I've started writing on here.

This will be immensely horrible in syntax, structure, etc...

It's amazing what time does to the relationships with people. You grow apart, you move closer, you notice the kids you've grown up with become true to their own idea of their identity. You see people dress in ways you never thought they'd dress, while others are still wearing the same thing as yesterday.

I guess I have a fascination with change, but I'm sure not going to deny some form of transformation from the person I was this time last year til now. Wow. It's late, I'm tired. And I'm sure this is horribly written, but at least I'm semi-making sense.

I just wanted to point out that I think we've all (on AM) reached a point where we don't really need a blog to voice our opinions simply because we can voice them on our own. I mean, it's nice to write, but I think we've all grown in our own way to the point where AM is just for pleasure rather than whatever else it may have represented before. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but there you go.

Whatever.

what goes around, comes around;

karma police

new perspective?

On bad days, Tegan tended to enjoy singing at the top of her lungs in the shower. And on this particular day, she knows it'll be horrible simply because her shower is broken and her throat hurts. All her good clothes are either dirty, or lost in the array of her house.

On top of that, her cat is missing, her nails are too long, and she has to go to a reunion filled with a bunch of her "friends" from high school. "Friends" meaning a hundred people who you saw everyday for four years who didn't know much about you except that you had an interesting name and wore too much black.

"Friends" also meaning the same people who Tegan occasionally sees but doesn't acknowledge because they don't recognnize her as the girl who had a mental breakdown on prom (Not that she ever likes to dwell on that).

In short, Tegan knew the moment she couldn't work the shower was the worst omen she could ever possibly get. She knew that by the end of the day she would be ready to sleep for a good twelve hours after eating entirely too much comfort food and writing a few angsty twitter status updates. A petty way to cope with a not-so perfect day.

It was a Tuesday.

------------

On good days, Jack finds lucky heads-up pennies on the floor. Today, he's already found two. He's feeling good, and he's looking forward to finally getting to see his friends from high school. It's been four years, he's changed, but he's still Jack. The same guy who everyone liked. Not loved, but liked. He's ready to spend the night being nostalgic and to come home with a few phone numbers. He's ready to wake up to nurse a hangover and go to work where his lovely receptionist will greet him with a knowing smile.

Jack used to be an unlucky character, but now he's got all the luck in the world. He's gone from average-joe to cool guy, and he's ready to show everyone that he could've been one of the ones everyone envied.

Before leaving to his reunion, Jack helps the old lady across the hall get a few groceries and earns twenty dollars and nail clippers. He finds a particularly chubby cat and brings it back to his apartment and feeds it some tuna. He takes a hot shower and wears clothes that he's sure look good on him. He's ready for a good night, a good way to end a good day.

It was a Tuesday.

---------

Tegan reaches the too-fancy restaurant late. As always. She enters the room and everyone's already laughing at something some good-looking guy is saying. She's looking around at somewhat familiar strangers, and they're all turning their heads towards her in confusion.

They don't recognize her, of course.

"Hi," Tegan says, and she makes sure to stretch a little so they can take a good look at the killer-body her job has forced her to acquire. "What have I missed?"

She notices the looks change in two ways. Everyone's thinking either A) who the heck is that? or B) holy damn look at those abs. Inside, she's already wishing she wasn't there.

"Um, hey, no mean to sound rude or anything," says one particularly rude good-looking guy, "But who are you and why do we have such an honor?"

"Ohhh, you don't know me?" Tegan says and she laughs a little, "that makes me so sad!"

"Yeah," says a rather creepy fellow eyeing her up and down, "It makes me sad, too."

Eventually, everyone goes back to talking and Tegan's sitting at the edge of the room, drinking her fifth glass of (you guessed it) water. She sees all the familiar faces, just aged a few years in time. Nobody's changed much, but at the same time everyone's different.

"Hi, Tegan," says a cheery voice, "thought nobody recognized you, huh?"

Tegan looks up in surpise and is even more surprised to see that it's Jack. Or, rather, a very good looking and confident version of what used to be Jack. She thinks her life can't get any worse, but next thing she knows he's sitting down and leaning in close.

"How've you been?" she says, leaning away. "You look great."

He smiles and she notices that his teeth are perfectly straight. Something that Jack didn't have in High School. "I've been great. You don't look bad yourself."

She smiles comprehensively. He didn't even know.

-----

He was working the room, and he was working the people. Jack was confident that at the end of the night, he'd finally get the attention of the hottest girl of the room. In the case of Senior year it would've been Macy, but Macy now has big huge implants that everyone knows aren't natural except for her. It is at the interruption of no one other than Tegan, when Jack realizes that he isn't the only one has changed.

Everyone doesn't recognize Tegan, but Jack does straight off the bat. She's dressed clothes that show off areas that not many aren't confident to show off, but she wears herself just as she always does- away. When she's addressing the people, though, he notices a sort of switch she makes: from Tegan to Mystery girl. He doesn't know much about Tegan, but he sure wants to know about Mystery girl.

So, he approaches her as she sulks in the corner of the room, and once they start talking, he sees the switch come on, and Tegan fade away.

"What have you been doing since we've graduated?"

She smiles, "Oh, just a few things here and there."

He grins, making sure to show off his perfect smile. "Cool, cool. So listen, I'd love to keep in touch with you after tonight. It seems we never really got to talk back then, but I'd like to now."

She smirks. "No kidding?"

----

Tegan was sure he was kidding. Not only was he coming on too strongly, but he had to be kidding if he thought that she'd want to talk to him again after this night.

"No kidding," and once again Tegan gets a good douse of too much crest-whitening.

"Well," she says and she smiles at him coyly, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way." She's getting out of there. Pronto. "But, I don't have a pen.."

He looks disappointed, just a little, but takes out his phone. "Just give me yours, and I'll call myself with it.

She can't believe she didn't think of that. She really can't.

Hesitantly, she gives him her phone and just like that, the deal is done. The fate is sealed. She was going to have to go out with him on another day and as kindly as she can.. reject him. All cause her stupid shower didn't work. All cause all her good clothes were in the wash and she had to wear her stupid slut clothes.

What a great night.

-----

Jack was sure he was getting a second date and more from Tegan. He was feeling her, and she was feeling him. He was sure of it. He smiled at her again, and he stood up.

"Want something to drink?"

She shook her head. "I don't drink."

He nodded, "Me neither." Lie. "I think it's so dumb to get wasted." Lie again.

She looked surprised, but pleasantly so. "Really? That's really good to hear." She stood up, looking at her watch. "Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to get going. Call me?"

Jack smiled. He had her. "Of course" He watched her walk away, and walked towards the bar for a beer.

What a great night.

how inappropriate

Does anyone ever get the feeling that we're all growing up too fast? Maybe it's because we're young, but when I stop and think it feels as if time has flown much too soon. One minute, we're learning about cooties, and the next we're having standpoints on same sex marriage and abortion. I'm not sure if in our parents days, kids were as knowledgeable as they are now of sex, but I've got to talk about this because...well... it's just so appropriate.

For me, sexuality is something that everybody goes through at some point. Whether it's coming out of the closet, or coming out of your clothing, I guess you could say that no matter what it's going to happen. A perfect example is the forty-year-old virgin. My point is this: when sexuality awakens, we should embrace it. No matter what our parents say, or what everyone else says, you shouldn't be ashamed of something that is both natural and perfectly normal in your mind's eye/heart/soul. You can't help the things that attract you just like how you can't help whichever gender you're born.

This can be put into aspect by how parents tend to shy away from telling their kids anything about sex. For one, it seems almost as if they believe that if their kid isn't exposed to anything having to do with it, they won't get pregnant. However, they tend to forget that kids aren't stupid. They "get bored, and have intercourse". In my honest opinion, I believe that it is better to be safe than sorry.

While my aunt believes that commercials about 'it's not even there' condoms is inappropriate, I choose to believe that it's a good thing to be informed. It's good to have our options open.

I just think when it comes down to sexuality, we don't even have to think explicitly. I think that with it, comes the feelings associated with love. The 'heart skipping' and 'pulse stopping' feelings. Your first kiss, first hand-holding, first embrace. In the end, I think that it all contributes to making you feel alive. You become aware of yourself, and what's more, the person who you're with or after. In the end, when it "awakens", I guess a part of you is awakening, too, right?

rated what?

karma police

p.s. TWO HUNDRED, WHAT?

where are you?

Does anyone ever notice that when finding something new, you tend to feel "revived" (or whatever)? It's like... you find a shirt that looks really freaking good on you, and just by wearing it you feel like a completely new person. You find a band that nobody's heard of, and suddenly you feel like you're in on the best kept secret of this century. Or, maybe, it doesn't even have to be something new. It could be something old. Something you forgot about. Running into old friends and seeing the change in them, it makes you really aware that you are the way you are. It makes you wonder if in their eyes, you've changed, too.

When people think of revived, what do they think of? Reincarnation? Refreshed? Renewed? I guess all those apply, but for me, right now, it's that feeling of being aware you're alive. It's looking around, blinking a few times, and seeing the world from a light that you don't normally see it. Suddenly, everything's different, right? Suddenly, for one moment, it's like you've FOUND THAT MISSING PIECE! (coughcough). It's not for forever, but it's for a moment. For one moment you're feeling complete, and completely happy and content about your life.

I guess when it comes to this kind of stuff- finding that missing piece- you can't really look for it, but you can't really sit around waiting, either. It's like that method of taking off a ring that's stuck on your finger, or looking for something you really want. You have to pretend you don't want to find it, or look away and tell yourself that the ring isn't even on your finger in the first place. So, I guess, if you think mathematically, you can tell yourself 'I don't want to find my missing piece...' and your missing piece will find you.....?

I'm not sure if that works, but it's worth a shot, right?

But, my dear great escape, I think that when it comes to these things there's not telling. There is never a guarantee on whether or not that missing piece will make you feel happy. Just like how the other pieces to you aren't always ones that make you happy. You have to think of circumstances, and various factors. I mean, what if the missing piece has a tendency to change shape every once in a while? I don't think people have one solid shape, therefore, the missing piece that you seek will always be fluctuating... right?

I don't know, but for me, it seems unsettling that the one thing that can make you happy/happier is something that you don't know, yet know all at once. But then again, isn't everything always a little unsettling? Oooh.. How thrilling !

here I am !

karma police

a little more seriously now

I always write the stupidest entries ever. It seems I'm never satisfied with them. Ever. Ever. Ever. It also seems that they tend to not have a point anymore. Hm. Just recently the E string on my electric guitar snapped and I've plunged into a sea of guitarless-ness. It's kind of horrible. But, thank the lord! Yesterday, I took a dear friend of mine's acoustic guitar and spent a good two hours learning how to play a song.

Life is good.

On tumblr they have this thing called MLIA. Which I think is used to make fun of FML. Fml--> Fuck my life. MLIA--> my life is average. Fun fun funny! So I guess you could say that going on acquiredminds for the first time in a long time struck a note of guilt. Then, because of that guilt I clicked the new post button in order to post an article. The funny thing is, that it's all an act of guilt. Does that make sense? I don't seem to make sense a lot these days. MLIA.

I guess guilt makes people do a lot of things. I think guilt was the root of the phrase I'm Sorry, and also the root of breakup/makeup sex (Hi, Digital Delay!). It's also the root for those "I'm sorry let's have breakup/makeup sex" songs. How nice. It seems guilt is a strong force if it can make it sound like it belongs to the billboard top 100.

In the end, all I have to say is that I don't seem to know what I'm thinking anymore. Yet, at the same time, it seems that my thoughts have been more clear. Doest that make sense? I need to stop asking that. I just want you guys to know that if I had more purpose in what I wrote, I'd definitely come on here more often. If I could find the right words to convey the message in my mind, I'd definitely be able to keep you guys coming for more of our acquired taste.

a little less guilty now,

karma police

make your move

So it's almost the end of the year. The end of the school year, that is. It seems to me that a lot has changed from it's beginning to it's end- one of the biggest being that as of now I seem to be constantly MIA from this website. You all can blame tumblr for my absence, and my new lack of anonymity (thanks for posting it without my permission guys -_-)

If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that love's not a competition (but I'm winning... or at least I thought so). Oh did you guys see that? Quote integration! That should boost up my essay grade! Ha ha ha.

It seems that I've learned a lot in the game of love this year. Some things I've learned are:

• never keep a relationship a huge secret
• never date within whatever extracurricular activity you do.
  
• first kisses (if it's both of your first kisses) will be wet.
• FCK REJECTION! Kind of.
• boys are not as insensitive as we think they are
• never let a someone you have romantic interest with write in your book in pen.
• don't let your romantic interest ever keep you from doing things you want to do.
• kissing. kissing. kissing. kissing. <3>

That's basically some of the stuff I've learned. Basically. Romantically, it seems I've learned a lot about myself. But it also seems that I have a crudload of other stuff to learn, as well. I know that my friends are always going to want to know about whowhatwhenwhere and that they'll be there for me no matter who I perk interest in.

What a year;
kp

p.s. dude. take off my tumblr yeah?

question:

why hasn't anybody else posted something?

I just wanted to post the photo on the left because it's absolutely amazing. Go here for the photo stream.

:)

ily

-karma p.

p.s. I'm aware I just wasted one post. But hey, I wanted to have some fun... and also post three articles in a row (yay me)

p.p.s. This green thing has to reach the end of the picture or else I might gain an OCD and react the way a person with an OCD would react and... well I don't know what will happen but I bet it's bad.

p.p.p.s. HINTHINT post something?

A tendency to expect a favorable outcome or to dwell on hopeful aspects.

"Pessimists are either right or pleasantly surprised." A phrase full of lots of meaning, in many different perspectives. Pessimism is the new black- it's what everyone is these days. I ask my friend why he's so pessimistic and he says he isn't, he's just being realistic. So does that mean that pessimists are the new realists? In my own humble opinion I think it means that the reality of everything is just a sad, disappointing one. It means that in "the current economic recession"- in this "time of crisis"- we are all unable to see past now and look at the future and look at the dreams we all once had... right?

For me, I believe that people influence others most. It's a fact of life. I mean look at religion, god is in all of us- he influences us. He tells us in our hearts what is right or wrong. Our best friends tell us that he/she isn't right for us- we dump them. They help us move on. Yet in many other ways society has lead to a generation of teenagers who don't have the self confidence to do what they can with the potential that they don't know they have. The normal thing to hear nowadays is "I don't think so" or "maybe, but I'm not sure". There aren't as many sure-thing yes and no's. In fact, I've never gone a day without a single ounce of doubt.

It's a sad reality, but the truth of the matter is that a lot of people are not as optimistic as they used to be. Optimism for them is "I'll get seven hours of sleep" instead of "I am going to march up to that boy grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him like he's never been kissed before". I don't think the former is quite as exciting as the latter. People nowadays seem unable to look for the silver lining. People nowadays say "I'm going to die- I'm not going to live after this" for simple things (I should know, I do this), instead of saying "I'll try my best and even if I don't do well at least I tried".

So the lesson today that I'm trying to tell you at 11:04 PM on a school night is a simple one. Everyone today is so caught up in putting themselves down that one day they won't be able to come back up. We have to learn to see through an optimistic point of view if we ever want to cherish the reality of situations. For, although you may be pleasantly surprised, I think that earning "it" after lots of "I knew I could do it" pays off a lot more.


Optimistically yours,
karma police

p.s. I'm sleepy...

colors in the dark: karma police

To choose any one color is difficult, but to describe them all is impossible. Due to my heavy procrastination and the fact that I already know next month's theme, I guess I'll have to do the color green. (that rhymed, holy heck!) If you guys have been wondering where I've been and whether or not I'll be back, please don't worry- I'm not dead! I'm only barely surviving (I'm kidding, really I am).

So... Green. When I think green it ranges from envy to recycling. But mostly, I think of the feeling of grass in the summer. That phrase "The grass is always greener" comes into my head, and also the image of green slime falling over people's head- but I don't think that really helps in educating a blind person's inability to see the color green. So let's start off with.. the basics? I'll just ramble and whatnot.

Blue and yellow make green, so you can picture that the sun and the sky make green, which is the grass. The oxygen you breathe and the sunlight you feel, that put together creates the soft grass you walk on. Picture that. The different hues of green range from the different kinds of grass, in aspect. Some is drier than others, some is much more lush and soft. It's all preference, but I prefer my grass not to be wet because I'd love to just lay in it. Sometimes green is muddier colored, that is when the grass is wet with rain and the mud kind of seeps through and when you walk in the grass you slip a little. I guess that's what green is, in aspects.

Green also reminds you of saltwater, which in many ways also relates to blue. Blue and green usually go hand in hand, that's why the ocean always has blue and green hues that make it ocean colored. When you're in the ocean just know you're swimming in blue and green. At night time, the yellow comes back into play when the stars come out. Stars aren't really yellow, but picture them to be- yellow twinkles in the sky. Little pieces of the sun that attempt to warm your face, but usually can't.

At this point if you're by the beach and all of this is happening, you should search for a patch of grass to sit on. That grass will be cool and soft and basically, that's dark green. Dark green is quite soothing. It's much more peaceful and at the same time quite brooding. Just don't fall asleep, because I think that's a dangerous thing to do....

So, what is green? Green is blue and yellow- the sky and the sun. Green is grass. I think that's why it's all go green nowadays- protect the grass?

I forgot how to end these things properly,

Karma Police

p.s. for the mushy hearted

Bitter and just a little sweeter

A recent study shows that four out of four people will die in their lifetimes.

That single line has put my identity on jeopardy! But here here, I'm sure that half out of those four people have a reason for their deaths and I'm pretty sure that somewhere amongst all of it's bitterness is a touch of sweet. It's T-Minus Five days until the day when disgusting sweet tarts are everywhere and cards that cost five dollars more than their actual sentimental value are given away. How exciting.

Here's a clip on my previous years' Valentines Day.... Okay, I really don't remember, but let's just pretend that I'm off gallantly drowning in chocolates and sweethearts and all those other hearts that come along on the fine occasion. Well, honestly that didn't happen, but in my future I wouldn't mine not spending a V-Day moping in self pity for being alone without a significant other.

Stupid timing.

The origins of Valentines Day are very mixed amongst the bitter and bittersweet. Taken from urbandictionary.com: ERnin_irene classifies Valentines day as "a day to make lonley people depressed and loved people possesed", Brandi says that it's "A scam made by the greeting card company", TheGoblin is quite possibly the most unnpessimistic- "February 14th. A great day for people in relationships, a time to spend lots of money on each other and feel loved. An awful day for single people, who become envious of couples who celebrate Valentines Day because they get nothing."

Hmm. How nice.

I decided to Wikipedia Valentines Day, and I found this part of it rather interesting:

In Ancient Rome, Lupercalia, observed February 13 through 15, was an archaic rite connected to fertility, without overtones of romance. Lupercalia was a festival local to the city of Rome. The more general Festival of Juno Februa, meaning "Juno the purifier "or "the chaste Juno," was celebrated on February 13-14. Pope Gelasius I (492-496) abolished Lupercalia.

So wait a minute? No overtones of Romance? BUT VALENTINES DAY IS ALL ABOUT ROMANCE!!!!! ! ! In fact it wasn't even called Valentine's Day it was called Lupercalia! And it was so icky that the POPE abolished it! Wow.

Some more interesting information about KISSES:

Love letters throughout the year are often signed with a string of "X's" to represent kisses. Why? Our practice of using an "X" grew out of the Medieval practive of letting those who could not write, mark documents with an "X" to represent their names. This was done in the presence of Witnesses and a kiss was given upon the "X:" to show sincerity. The "X" then became synonomous with the kiss in the minds of most people. There are two possible explanations why an "X" was chosen to represent one's name. One explanation is that the "X" shape was originally thought of as a cross. This "X" shaped cross was the symbol of St. Andrew. It may have been that people were making a pledge in the name of the Saint. The second explanation is that it may have been a plege in the name of Christ. The "X", or chi symbol is also a letter of the Greek alphabet, which has also been used to represent the name of Christ.

Quite interesting, if I may so so myself :) Whatever the case for all those out there who absolutely despise Valentines Day, remember you're not alone. In fact, you're FAR from alone. So break out some good chick flicks or scary movies and forget about your pain.

FUNFACT: 61% of dudes want flowers, too. How odd.

-Karma Police

but it's better if you do

Whoever gave the rule that wisdom and knowledge comes with age is definitely not looking beyond the two (non)colors of black and gray. Often times I believe the young are the most smart, and I believe the old are most stupid- but of course I understand and know that that is not always the case. Teen angst exists for a reason, of course.

Often, I believe that there are two sides to a person. The reasonable, sane side, and the deceptive, fantastic, and slightly insane side. I'm beginning to realize that the two sides come out based upon where you are, what you're doing, and whether or not you're alone. I find that upon being alone, I tend to veer towards the latter side, teetering on the edge of what I'm normally like in the "outside world". It's really odd, in many ways and I think there's a scientific way of explaining it- but I like to believe that in those hours of being along I go a little insane, and a little more smart in more ways than just Algebra. I like to believe that the world could be at my hand if I wanted, and that all it would really take is a push.

But then, of course, I eventually am brought back to reality, and the feeling- that high, beautiful, oftenly unique feeling of infinity- is taken away and missed. I begin to remember the work I have to do and that I can't possibly stay in the tub any longer for it's past midnight already. All that comes to play and the sadness of it tends to overwhelm sweetly for a little while. It's amazing, though, while it lasts... I wonder if anyone else feels it.

Influence, I believe, is a key to the latter more morbid side of the human brain. I think if you watch a lot of movies and read a lot of stories where a villain is brought to glorification and heroin is your best friend, you tend to believe it. When casual sex is seen to be an everyday escape to momentary love...? I think it's the human mind's way of tempting you- since we all know temptation is everywhere, don't we? When you're the villain long enough, you begin to see yourself as the hero, right? Or is this all too insane? Ha ha ha.

Usually when I get into these odd doses of odd moods, it's in odd parts of the day, like midnight or when I wake up alone in my house. It's like I feel like living within myself and I relish it. I start to think I can get away with things... like cooking breakfast! Ha haha. Or maybe listening to music and singing at the top of my lungs.. or other things. It's just the weirdest, more beautiful sensation ever, and I wonder if it's sadness or happiness or maybe bittersweet both. It's confusion with a K. Karma Police style.

Carma Polise

paint a portrait of a mirror

It's come to my attention that our own digital delay has started to write about The Picture Of Dorian Gray in his recent postings, and I'd like to add a little bit onto the subject. I myself am not done reading the book (I get distracted easily), but of what I've read so far it seems to be the kind of book whereas that if I were to annotate it, it'd be sopping wet from my constant highlighter usage.

In the edition I have (the cheapest one I could find at Border's), the preface talks about how Oscar Wilde saw the characters in Dorian Gray as a sort of symbol of himself. Wilde wrote: "Basil Hallward is what I think I am: Lord Henry what the world thinks of me: Dorian is what I would like to be- in other ages perhaps."

I found this incredibly interesting, because basically he thought of himself as a person whose talents were so great he wasn't quite interesting; society thought of him as a person who liked to influence others-whether or not it was in a good way; and he wanted to be a person who committed sins for pleasures. The last one, of course, can be linked to the fact that Oscar Wilde was gay. If only he were in our current "age", he wouldn't have been convicted to jail for two years for his "sins".

If you think about it, how Oscar Wilde is able to separate himself into three distinct yet linked in a way characters makes a lot of sense. Everyone has the person they are to themselves, the person they are to others, and the person they'd like to be- three separate characters that are linked, and yet all incredibly different. The person you are to yourself is how you see yourself in the mirror, in your mind, and in general. While others may think of you as smart, you yourself might find you to be an idiot. The person you are to others is basically what you wish others thought of you as. Kind of like who you want to be, except of course you're being much more humble and condescending since the person you are to yourself prevents you from reaching great heights. The person you'd like to be, then, is basically like a god? a dream? a goal that you know is beyond out of your reach? It'd make sense if Oscar Wilde applied this sort of theory into his writing, since the way Basil and Lord Henry viewed Dorian was kind of as if he were above them (especially Basil, who is how Oscar Wilde viewed himself).

You're most cruel to yourself, which makes sense, since Basil is murdered by Dorian. The way other view you or how you'd like them to makes sense, because Lord Henry is much like an artist on his own, only in his way of words and his influence. He's like a step before what Dorian is, which is that of uttermost beauty, turmoil, and amazement- a somewhat god-like being who is worshiped by lesser ones.

Maybe I'm jumping to all these conclusions a bit to early on. To get a better knowledge of all this you should go here. Then you'll understand everything I've rattled on about a little better.

karma police

looking backwards

This month is the last month of the year and in approximately a week(?) it won't be 2008. Three hundred and sixty five days seems so long but in reality it passes by without so much as a blink- without giving you time to breathe. These past few months since Summer have been amazing, and I think it goes to show that a lot can change in just a few weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days seems to be just a reminder of how much time you have, how old you're going to be next year, and a canvas for you to draw your life out on.

So what have you been doing this year? What's changed most? Perhaps you don't think you've changed at all, but everyone does- even if it's a little. So look back on this past year and be a little nostalgic, you'll be surprised at what you realize.

Ode To The Nice Guys

So, this isn't written by me, but I thought I'd share, because it's really sweet and really great, and I think everyone here should read it. I got it from here, so it's a repost of sorts. :) I hope you guys really like this.

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton
Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

-Karma Police :)
p.s. love nice guys.

Stumble here, Stumble There

"I'm a big believer in random capitalization. The rules of capitalization are so unfair to words in the middle." (Margo Roth Spiegelman, Paper Towns)

If only everyone viewed life like Margo Roth Spiegelman, the "manic pixie dream girl" of John Green's latest book Paper Towns, we wouldn't have two highlights of our lives: When we are born, and when we die.
Occasionally, of course there are those capital I's for "when I got married, when I broke my arm, when I had sex for the first time in the backseat of a Chevy, and etc... If only we could fine moments like buying your favorite book as significant parts of the story of you and how your sentence ends.

Maybe then, when people do a biography of you, it won't start with "KARMA POLICE WAS BORN ON_____ AND DIED ON_____ BECAUSE SHE O.D'd ON METH STICKERS", and instead start with "KARMA POLICE'S FAVORITE AUTHOR WAS JOHN GREEN BECAUSE HE ENCOURAGED HER TO BE WHO SHE IS TODAY AND MADE HER WISH SHE HAD GREEN EYES LIKE ALASKA YOUNG, WHO IS ONE OF HER FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM HER FAVORITE BOOK LOOKING FOR ALASKA."

Maybe.

In life everyone's always searching for that "BIG CRAZY AWESOME THING" that can change who they are and change the course of their everyday life. Of course this can be in the form of "marriage, love, getting into Harvard", but why can't it be in the form of "That time I got Hit On by the Main Singer of The Maine"?

Now that'd be a story to tell.

Perhaps what Margo Roth Spiegelman is trying to say in that little ditty of hers is that she is a firm believer of spontaneity. Perhaps she believes random behavior that can entertain and spice up a sentence so that not only the first word seems important. That's what I believe she's thinking (Or, if you want to think literally, what John Green is thinking).

On another note I've fallen in love with Stumbling. No link there, because I want you kids to discover what it is by yourselves! oh The Drama! Just go on Google and type in 'STUMBLE' and click the first link and be happy for hours of just click click click here and there. :)

Just be warned that it's highly addictive and makes me stay on the computer for more hours than is healthy for a gal like myself.

over And our to You kids,
karma Police

Indecision: The New Black

The ultimate question to answer: How do you make a decision? Honestly, I'd like to know, and if by chance you know how, please inform me. This question may seem insignificant and such, but really, how do you make a decision that can alter the course of your future? What happens when one is beneficial, and so it the other? It's seriously like getting caught between two lovers (torn between to lovers, hehe)!

On another note, I've recently been watching the movie Shattered Glass in my Journalism class, and I must say that it's a very interesting movie. Hayden Christensen does well as a two faced writer for The New Republic. In case any of you don't know, it's basically about a writer's career going way up, and then way down. Stephen Glass actually does exist in real life, and the movie is based off true events. I wonder how it is that Stephen Glass decided to do what he did (aka, fabrication), which brings me back to that thing (dead word dead word dead word) that's been on my mind: DECISION MAKING!

I think the Matrix was a lot more symbolic than we gave it credit for with that entire blue pill or red pill crud (or at least, that I gave it credit for). I was reading this book, and one of the characters mentioned how he believed in many universes. Not in that 'vampires are among us!' way, but in the way that there's another universe where there's someone just like me who this morning, instead of putting on a white shirt, put on a black one. Someone who didn't go to this school, but went to another. That sort of thing.

Does this count as being profound?

All I'm saying that I'm beginning to realize that everything you do can lead to a different outcome. What were to happen if I didn't choose Karma Police as my alias? What could've happened if I were late to school today? What were to happen if I didn't do my homework!? Decisions can really make you think for a long time. Serious as a heart attack.

Happy Halloween my dears;
KP

p.s. What if I didn't choose to be what I am being for Halloween tomorrow!?

I Hope This Rains on Your Parade.

(WARNING: The following contains sensitive content.)

NOTE: For Halloween 2008, the blog is turned black. To read the following, highlight the words.

We have things we realize are important in our lives, and others that are not so much.

my.great.ESCAPE.: Have you guys ever thought about doing drugs, like weed?
stolen apologies: Yes.
digital delay: kind of yes but then again im pretty sure i never would
karma police: yes I have, but i wont because it can eff your mind
my.great.ESCAPE.: Really? Why ?
stolen apologies: Yes, just to try it.
my.great.ESCAPE.: But, what if you get hooked?
stolen apologies: I have to act stupid sometime in my life, and I think I'd want to get that phase over with, when I'm young.
digital delay: sometimes i think that phase already ended in me..
my.great.ESCAPE.: Some people do it because it "relaxes" them.. Like, smoking..
digital delay: im sure i can find better ways of relaxing
stolen apologies: I concur.
digital delay: i already do
stolen apologies: Others do it because of peer pressure.
digital delay: f*ck peer pressure
my.great.ESCAPE.: LOL.
stolen apologies: Having sex can also result from peer pressure
digital delay: i dont do anything that would result in any form of peer pressure..
stolen apologies: You mean result FROM peer pressure?
my.great.ESCAPE.: but you never know...if your life just suddenly starts spiraling out of control...
digital delay: no
stolen apologies: According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction.
my.great.ESCAPE.: well, Mondays DO suck.
stolen apologies: I hate that day.
digital delay: i dont do anything, so how i can get pressured into doing anything when nobodys presuring me?
my.great.ESCAPE.: In my school, so many kids are that "bad". about 3 out of 4 students are allowed to date. about 1 out of 3 students have already had their "first kiss". about 1 out of 5 students probably have done some kind of drug, or smoke or drink. about 1 out of 8-ish kids possibly arent virgins anymore...makes us look innocent.
karma police: according to statistics from BBC news more than seventy percent of all people who've done weed have admitted to thinking that they wouldnt get addicted
my.great.ESCAPE.: If you had a friend who was out of control from drug usage, would you help them or push them out of your life?
digital delay: id beat the sh*t out of them, slap em back
karma police: i'd warn them and help them if they needed help cause my friend likes weed
my.great.ESCAPE.: I mean like, this guy's asking you to lend money and asking for favors to drive you around to liquor shops and sh*t
my.great.ESCAPE.: so if they asked for your help, you'd help them?
digital delay: i wouldn’t
my.great.ESCAPE.: no ?
digital delay: well i wouldnt giv em money or anything
stolen apologies: I wouldn't either.
my.great.ESCAPE.: what if theyre finally realizing they cant do this anymore, and they need real help?
karma police: then i'll help
stolen apologies: Well, yes, if they admit it.
digital delay: id tell them to go to a counselor or something cuz im not someone who could help them..
karma police: i'd drive them to AA meeings
my.great.ESCAPE.: If you guys ever get drug-crazy, i'd help you(:
stolen apologies: Aw, thanks
my.great.ESCAPE.: But that doesnt mean you should go and do drugs.
my.great.ESCAPE.: i wonder who the crap looked at a plant and decided it would be good to snort it, in the first place >:[
stolen apologies: Hippies revolutionized it.
digital delay: damn them!
stolen apologies: I guess back in ancient civilizations, people experimented with different plants and wrote down their effects
digital delay: yup
stolen apologies: And those got passed on, and as society faltered, people decided to abuse them
digital delay: human curiosity is a bitch
stolen apologies: Curiosity killed the cat.
digital delay: freaky, ill tell you that
digital delay: i always wondered what tid be like to fall off a building... or get shot.. or get stabbed really slowly..
stolen apologies: Or die. Or drown.
digital delay: but i dont wanna die.. i just want to see what happens.. like..maybe before i die..
my.great.ESCAPE.: people die because they cant stand not having drugs. its so sad that they go through anything just to get some…what can be THAT much needed.!
stolen apologies: Yeah. Their bodies are so dependent on it that withdrawals can kill them.
digital delay: cold turkey
my.great.ESCAPE.: they kill people just to get them.
digital delay: its sad...to see someone like that..
my.great.ESCAPE.: very sad indeed.
stolen apologies: By then, the drugs have gotten to their brain cells and they're not sane anymore
my.great.ESCAPE.: its possible to become sane once again. you just have to want it.
stolen apologies: And you have the right help. If you've gone that far, you can't come back on your own.
my.great.ESCAPE.: people like us shouldnt mess with the world of the bad people. its like, the heroes and the villains… we have to save lives. thats what we're supposed to do.
digital delay: ooo heroes
stolen apologies: We can't change what we didn't create or contrive to…As much ambition as we have
my.great.ESCAPE.: but we can choose the path to take which is the most important part
stolen apologies: Yes, and hopefully that will make a difference.
digital delay: we can but we wont , depending on who and what
my.great.ESCAPE.: we can be a "somebody" and not a "nobody". i mean, who's wants to be a nobody?? seriously.
stolen apologies: The thing though is, you may be a "somebody" here, but halfway across the world, you'll still be unknown.
digital delay: what if were already a nobody
stolen apologies: Then you'll stay that way.
digital delay: and a somebody is just a bit far away off the road..
stolen apologies: I don't know. There's always two ways of looking at things.
my.great.ESCAPE.: all you need is one other person to recognize that you are a somebody
digital delay: i guess you dont always get what you want …or think you want
stolen apologies: Just so you know, all of you are a "somebody" to me.
digital delay: ha thats sweet
my.great.ESCAPE.: totally (:

just a message from,
- Your [EFFin'] Fantastic Four

underground or above?

In the minds of many young adults across the states, turning twenty one is probably the day they can’t wait for. Why? Because of the one thing they’ll have access to once they reach that age- alcohol. Many long for the day to wake up and go to Vegas to gamble and drink the night away, and some just can’t wait. Underage drinking is a big problem in the U.S. but drunk driving is one, too. Combine the two together and you can’t really tell which is worse, can you? The “responsible” 21 year old who drank one too many beers and died in a car crash, or the 18 year old partier who got caught by the police.

What are the cons to changing the legal drinking age to eighteen? To list a few the main one would be that the number of drinkers in both high school and college will likely increase. People can easily fake eighteen rather than twenty-one, therefore making alcohol a larger constant in their life. Think about it, some seniors in high school are eighteen already, and with the combination of being able to legally buy alcohol and the number of younger peers around them, the results could lead to even more underage drinkers. People are influenced by others around them, and with their peers buying alcohol what do you think they’d want to do to fit in?

In an age where immaturity is ever so common and looking cool is the top priority for many (especially girls), a lowered drinking age will cause the headline ‘girl killed from drunk driving incident’ to frequent front pages more often.

Alcohol poisoning will probably happen left and right, and if underage drinkers start around the age of sixteen to eighteen, then won’t lowering the drinking age make even younger kids start to drink? Being able to drink legally at eighteen seems only a faraway idea to be laughed at to us. Or at least so some may believe.

I came across a webpage that had a petition for college students to sign in support of lowering the drinking age to eighteen. At first I believed that the reasons they were going to have would be idiotic and completely illegible, but when I read into it a little more I realized that some reasons were actually, well, reasonable.

Now many of you reading this are probably in support of changing the drinking age to eighteen because of the fact that you’re young and you just like to think like that. Our parents and teachers and basically everyone have told us all our lives that drinking is bad, and alcohol shouldn’t be consumed-ever. Despite the constant ragging however, teens being teens have rebelled and gone on to do what their parents forebode them to do- drink. What’s the point of a law that everyone breaks?

Perhaps lowering the drinking age may lower the pure excitement of it all. We as teens are known to want what we can’t have, and maybe if we were to have that object of our affection given to us earlier, the excitement of it all might fade away, leaving it to be nothing less of a normal thing that no one has to break the law to get.

At the age of eighteen you’re viewed as an adult. You’re allowed to get married, and you can serve your country. Thinking of the former, young couples seeking to marry at eighteen are restricted from drinking wine at their own wedding. For many this is a big disappointment. At the age of eighteen you are allowed the privilege to vote, and you are allowed to smoke, yet many think it is unfair that you can’t consume alcohol. If you’re considered an adult, why not get all the privileges they have instead of having to wait a full three years in order to get one simple add-on?

Although the numbers of seniors in high school lowered after the drinking age going up, the number of underground drinkers rose to a new level. Because they couldn’t do it that often or in public, drinking was brought to behind closed doors and underground, where the young drank as much as they could while they couldn’t get caught. Binge drinking was happening left and right; and binge drinking can lead to death. So although the drinking age at twenty-one still helps publicly, it’s the underground life that you can’t see that makes it seem horrible. Being twenty-one or eighteen doesn’t stop people from drinking themselves to the hospital or grave.

In places like Canada, provinces are allowed to choose their drinking age. The drinking age is usually between 18 and 19 and for all United States citizen studying there, going back home is like “stepping back in time”. Some college students even say that although there are reckless drunken parties, they occur less often than the ones in America.

College parties are always about alcohol and partying, but does anyone ever stop and think about the fact that most college students are underage? If a twenty-one year old person can barely handle alcohol what makes anyone think an eighteen year old can? In the end, I’m not trying to say that the drinking age should be lowered to eighteen, but that it’s not as preposterous as many of our parents may think.

reprinted with permission from original writer;

Karma Police

fiction is a form of symbolism, I believe

Sitting in an office area with the air conditioner turned too high, Teagan wanted to reassure herself that she wasn't nervous. The only problem was that Teagan was honest, and therefore couldn't reassure herself she wasn't nervous because in fact she was. She was about to meet the person that could make her or break her, and all she had was the stench of alcohol in her hair and wrinkly clothes from sleeping on the subway.

Looking into the mirror opposite her, she saw many people in the same situation as herself. They looked disorientated, fidgety, and nervous. They looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there, and most importantly they had a gleam of anticipation in their eyes. It was either they would leave the building happy, or leave it in utter disappointment. It was either they went home with a good story to tell or one that they didn't want to tell at all.

Teagan hoped with all hopes her story would be a good one.

"Teagan?" A nice lady in a white uniform called from down the hall, startling Teagan from her train of thought. "You may come in now."

Teagan stood, taking a deep breath. She popped herself an orange tic tac and smoothed out her limp, flat hair. Her eyes came across another's and for a moment they held a connection of understanding, hope, and once again- anticipation.

Teagan turned away and walked towards the lady in white, her steps echoing off the floor. Her heart seemed to be beating loudly, and when she reached the lady it seemed not to beat at all.

"Follow me, please." She followed her down the hall, watching the lady's feet as they squeaked against the linoleum floor. They came across a room- room number 365 and Teagan found herself holding her breath as the lady slowly turned the door knob and opened the door.

Teagan stepped into the room and the first thing she saw was a shock of red hair much like her own- only it was fake. Sitting there was a stern-faced reaching fifty-one lady that would break or make Teagan at that very moment. Her hair was pulled up to frame her face professionally, and her posture was of the loyal kind. Her eyes were quite likes those of a hawk and they followed Teagan's every move, down to the nervous swallow she took.

"It took you long enough," she said coldly. Her eyes darted towards the chairs opposite her.

Teagan sat down to the one closest to the door and looked down at the floor. "I apologize."

"You've been out drinking," she stated, and Teagan ran her hand through her hair once more. "That might be a problem."

"It isn't," Teagan gritted, "I assure you."

"You wouldn't want to end up like your father did," the woman said softly and Teagan noticed the look of sadness that washed over her features.

"I wouldn't even if I could."

The woman nodded before gazing out the window. "It truly has been a long time though, Teagan. I was afraid you wouldn't show up."

"I was, too," Teagan said softly, "I was, too, mother."

and he asked 'how do you think of me?'

Greetings ya'll from across the universe, this is karma police telling you about what I think about first impressions... and well, that's basically it.

First impressions can mean a lot to a person, if the person is the judgmental type. They can mean very little for the ones who like to get to know a person really well. For me, I think I fall under the category of "judge first, then talk to and change mind". Does that make sense?

And impression can be for anything from a person, a thing, to a country. When you meet a person with his shirt tucked in and glasses pulled high up his nose, and shoes that were shined twice, you wouldn't assume he was going for a job interview, you'd assume he's a nerd. When you see a toy broken in five places on the floor looking flimsy, you don't assume that a baby has strong teeth, but that the toy was bad quality. When you enter a country where there are cats, dogs, and rats on the street and all restaurants have no doors, you won't assume that it's because they've got a strange government, but that it's because the people there don't take care of things. Am I right?

Impressions mean a lot, and when you're a friendly type, you want to make good impressions. You don't want your boss catching you half naked in a fountain with men groping you. No, you don't, and that's what matters. First impressions can be anything from having a firm handshake, meeting their eyes, to having good hosts and lots of delicious food.

What about the impressions after that? Are they as important? What about the second and third, and fourth? Shouldn't you always make a good impression?!

I swear, I'm not going ballistic, it's just that I'm in the future;
K-P