Yea...and?....

Glorification...funny word. Glory can be thought of in both a negative and positive connotation. Glory can come after a victory, a triumph, kind of like when you finally ask that person out. But glory apparently can also mean pride, arrogance, being not-so-modest, kind of like when hat person finally dumps you. Either way, we do it. We glorify things. We glorify people. We glorify ideals.

Why do we glorify things? What the hell does glorifying even mean? If i was actually trying to prove a point, starting a paragraph with a rhetorical (kind of) question is bad, but screw (f*ck) it. -to cause to be or to treat as being more.............something along the lines of making something seem a lot better than other stuff. So why do we do it again? If you sit there and think about it for a few minutes....you'll find an answer that will suit your own character.

If you're reading this....you probably didn't stop to think about it. If you did, and are still reading, you didn't think about it much, or are just curious.

For the brief time span (maybe...a minute or two of actual thought?) that I've thought of this, i just figured something pretty simple, and easy, and I just thought I said this before. I think. We feel that these..objects...are the prime epitome of whatever that thing that they do is.

For example...why do you like those musicians so much? -Cuz they're like...geniuses. All those parts just coming together...those..emotions that are bit less worked on...dude...it's just like..crazy stuff....

...why do you like that person so much? -Cuz they're go-geous, and funny, and sweet, and quirky...

...why do you think that way? -Cuz it makes sense...cuz like..nothing else really does ya know?...

...why did I just write all that? -I really have no idea...I regret it...just not enough to take the time to delete it.

We don't really know why we do it. Sometimes we are actually conscious of it. But even if we know that that noun has flaws, clear, discernible flaws, we will try to cover up. We'll even acknowledge that, and try to explain that in a logical way. Basically, we come up with an excuse to say, "Well, yea all that crap is true, but it's still really amazing."

Those things, are what we want in our lives. What we see in those things, we want. We want to have it, we want to be like it, we want to be with it. The characters of these things are the characteristics that make ourselves insecure about...ourselves. We want to be...perfect. If that's not the right word, we all have things in our lives we want to consider "ideal".

How can we not help ourselves? We are human beings. We are flawed. I for sure know I do it. I acknowledge it. But I definitely can try to think of ways to........of excuses. But imagine how hard things would be, if we took everything plainly, just as it is. We wouldn't be able to take it. We have to deal with the things in our lives, significant or not, in one way or another. Excuses are just one way...

thanks to karma! the person

the ideal is a ***************** (in a lot of cases)

-digitaldelay

May I Please Have Some More?

There are 365 days in a year…quite a few if you come to think about it, or maybe you think it’s not very much at all. Every year, we all (technically) age. We all probably meet new people. We all learn new things. We all experience new things. Yet I must admit, everyday seems pretty similar to me. A good proportion of things I do everyday are basically the same. I sadly wake up, get out of bed, wash up, eat food, sleep, sit here on this computer, listen to music, watch movies/t.v., and etc. The times are the same, the numbers I mean. The bathroom is the same. The food quite often is the same repeated sequence. My bed is the same. There are plenty of things that are the same. Each day. Year after Year.

There are plenty of things that change though. Habits can surely change. Maybe after a while you’ll go through your day a bit differently than you did before. Usually though, you don’t really notice it. It just kind of happens. Something big can happen to someone’s life. A death, an affair, a loss, any number of things. These things have the power to rattle someone’s life, but, they’ll eventually get used to it. If not, they’ll learn to live with it.

It seems you leave one cycle just to reach another. A cycle of cycle’s. Never ending…
Not to say that is a bad thing. Perhaps some people thoroughly enjoy their cycles, and the subtle changes each one brings. But I’m sure the majority of us people wouldn’t exactly call ourselves content or happy. Some of us are willing to something about it, others, not so much. Eventually though, with whatever we are dealt, we learn to live with it.

(generally at least…or at least I hope so, because then this all would be a big con)

-digitaldelay

.

Sometimes, as I sit in the exact spot I am right now, I wonder why I’m here. Yea, I’m up at midnight watching a myriad of videos of Tegan and Sara, but isn’t that kind of an excuse? Is that really a reason? I can do that anytime I feel like, anytime I want to. But really, who ever does what they want when they can? Sometimes, we don’t even know if we know what we want…At midnight, I sit awake, seeing those familiar smiles, hearing those familiar laughs, those familiar jokes, those familiar croons.. Every time I do that, I know that the next day is a weekday (5/7 days at least…), I know I have to wake up to go through another day of ceaseless existence. As I sit here now, eating my mini Werthers Original hard candies, staring at a watch that no longer ticks, I wonder…is that a way to live? Or is it a way to exist? Everyone exists, but who really lives? Will I ever get to live? That’s a question that’s haunted me for a while, and an answer comes no closer. I know that even after midnight, I shouldn’t stare at the ceiling above me in bed listening to who knows what. I’m just trying to prolong the inevitable. Feebly trying to stop what I know is going to come anyway, me. My head is a classic clash between the romanticist and the cynic inside of me. F*ck the whole half full half empty thing, this is more of a…the glass will never be half full. F*ck off. F*ck you. Give up. Vs the glass might be half full someday, you never know? Of course, the cynic always overpowers its contemporary (cynical isn’t it?), which is a sad thought. As I wake up, half groggy from the sleep I didn’t get (or perhaps just that though), I run through the usual routine. Wash up. Teeth. Clothes (it’s a bummer I cant put no clothes). Food. Out. Now. The day runs by, and there(here) I end up, once again, at midnight, right here. Hope. People make it by with hope. Hope is something that should never be crushed down, never be put down, but damnit it happens anyway. When I do see it happening, when I’m insightful enough for once to see it, when I’m not blindly ignorant for once in my life, it pains me. With no hope there is no reason. If you stop being angry, sad, anguished, beaten down, well, you’ve stopped caring. What happens when you’ve stopped caring? It means you’ve given up on everything, on yourself. To me, that’s a scary thought. I fear that in myself, and subsequently in others. While that could be used as in excuse to point out my caring nature, it sounds more to me like there’s not an ounce of selflessness in there (it’s a wonder “we” don’t use the metric system, thanks to the stonecutters?...). Or is that just the cynic in me? Is there that part of me that wants to believe I am selfless; I am this part ideal thing, in my own eyes. It’s something that eludes grasp, eludes an arm that may have never been outstretched. Being self-content is something that sounds so magical and far off. Yet at the same time, it sounds like it’s right in front of me, and I just have to reach out of it. I just have to stop at midnight, and reach right into that screen. I just have to stop staring at that ceiling, and look through it. (cynical?...life:content with-you ignorant b*stard….not content-who isn’t you b*tch?) Maybe the reason I’m writing this in one big paragraph, with no cohesion whatsoever, is because I don’t know how. I have no sense of direction, I have no idea of what I want to do, of what I plan on accomplishing by writing this. Then I realize, that, the answer is nothing. There’s nothing I see that will happen from this. But we can dream right? I don't really plan on editing, this, on checking it. I don't plan to make it perfect, i don't plan on reworking it so it fits together. I dont really see how, why, or what? It coulda shoulda woulda. I’ve been tired for days and days…

-digitaldelay

To work up a smile.

We Wear the Mask (by Paul Laurence Dunbar)

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

I bet a lot of you can be able to relate to the poem above. Many of us have had stories we just didn't want to share, right? You've probably had things you'd rather just not talk about. So maybe you tend to hide your feelings, keeping them to yourself. Some people like the idea of anonymity more than familiarity. Then again, others don't. Believe it or not, your words are important.

When you're having one of those "bad days", do you mope around or fake a smile, covering up the truth? Should you lie to others, let alone yourself, or turn to a friend who might happen to be able to cheer you up? With your feelings, I think it's best not to fool others with a mask they might be able to see through it if it's transparent. Come out from under that heavy rock and stop hiding beneath it. Maybe your "mask" was meant to be noticed.


This gets me every time,
-my.great.ESCAPE.

Staring at Headlights

Do you ever lie to yourself? Disguise the facts from yourself, manipulate them, or perhaps completely disregard them just so they fit your wants and feelings. Maybe you’d even like them to be true, you’d love for them to be right, but you don’t accept it. In the back of your head you always think, maybe, just maybe it really is true, but your mind, your consciousness tells you no, that you can’t think of it like that. You could do this to yourself for any number of reasons, but they all add up to one thing, you’re afraid. You’re scared of hurting yourself, others, those you care about, or you’re afraid of yourself. You’re not willing to face yourself, to stand up to yourself, to look yourself in the eye. You can’t tell yourself to, you can’t force yourself to, and you just don’t have the right mindset to do it. You’re scared of what you could do, of what could happen, of how stupid you could look, of how useless it would be, how futile it would become. Then, you just think too much. Everything you do or say, you think about to yourself, and everything else that you don’t think about, ends up falling apart.

Have you ever thought that being there for those you care about, could mean hiding from them? To protect them, you hide from them, create some kind of shallow mask for them to see. You’re afraid that them seeing you would create more harm than good. And you believe that when you do let go of that mask, when you free yourself, bombs and battles are there instead dreams and wishes.

You need to stand in the spotlight you’re afraid of. You need to stare at those headlights, and realize, that standing there won’t do much less than send you to a hospital broken and wounded, or worse. You have to move, it doesn’t matter how slowly, since you’re almost there anyway.

I want to start a little something. If this works…then hooray. If it doesn’t then I’ll look like a big butt…

But here goes…

I want all of you…anyone who’s reading this... to name something they really like…or love…it could be a band, album, movie, t.v. show, person, ideal, anything (or all, or several)…and just say why you like it…and then…I want you to respond in some way to the person before you…I don’t mean bashing their opinions or anything…but disagreeing is fine…so…let’s see how the fireworks fly tonight…

Well…the first person who does it can respond to whoever they want I guess
It can be in a comment…or in a post...or anything

Goodness I’m seriously scared about this and I don’t know why I’m doing this…but…as one of my favorite people ever once said….,”but who fu****g cares?”

-digital delay