make your move

So it's almost the end of the year. The end of the school year, that is. It seems to me that a lot has changed from it's beginning to it's end- one of the biggest being that as of now I seem to be constantly MIA from this website. You all can blame tumblr for my absence, and my new lack of anonymity (thanks for posting it without my permission guys -_-)

If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that love's not a competition (but I'm winning... or at least I thought so). Oh did you guys see that? Quote integration! That should boost up my essay grade! Ha ha ha.

It seems that I've learned a lot in the game of love this year. Some things I've learned are:

• never keep a relationship a huge secret
• never date within whatever extracurricular activity you do.
  
• first kisses (if it's both of your first kisses) will be wet.
• FCK REJECTION! Kind of.
• boys are not as insensitive as we think they are
• never let a someone you have romantic interest with write in your book in pen.
• don't let your romantic interest ever keep you from doing things you want to do.
• kissing. kissing. kissing. kissing. <3>

That's basically some of the stuff I've learned. Basically. Romantically, it seems I've learned a lot about myself. But it also seems that I have a crudload of other stuff to learn, as well. I know that my friends are always going to want to know about whowhatwhenwhere and that they'll be there for me no matter who I perk interest in.

What a year;
kp

p.s. dude. take off my tumblr yeah?

Staring at Headlights

Do you ever lie to yourself? Disguise the facts from yourself, manipulate them, or perhaps completely disregard them just so they fit your wants and feelings. Maybe you’d even like them to be true, you’d love for them to be right, but you don’t accept it. In the back of your head you always think, maybe, just maybe it really is true, but your mind, your consciousness tells you no, that you can’t think of it like that. You could do this to yourself for any number of reasons, but they all add up to one thing, you’re afraid. You’re scared of hurting yourself, others, those you care about, or you’re afraid of yourself. You’re not willing to face yourself, to stand up to yourself, to look yourself in the eye. You can’t tell yourself to, you can’t force yourself to, and you just don’t have the right mindset to do it. You’re scared of what you could do, of what could happen, of how stupid you could look, of how useless it would be, how futile it would become. Then, you just think too much. Everything you do or say, you think about to yourself, and everything else that you don’t think about, ends up falling apart.

Have you ever thought that being there for those you care about, could mean hiding from them? To protect them, you hide from them, create some kind of shallow mask for them to see. You’re afraid that them seeing you would create more harm than good. And you believe that when you do let go of that mask, when you free yourself, bombs and battles are there instead dreams and wishes.

You need to stand in the spotlight you’re afraid of. You need to stare at those headlights, and realize, that standing there won’t do much less than send you to a hospital broken and wounded, or worse. You have to move, it doesn’t matter how slowly, since you’re almost there anyway.

I want to start a little something. If this works…then hooray. If it doesn’t then I’ll look like a big butt…

But here goes…

I want all of you…anyone who’s reading this... to name something they really like…or love…it could be a band, album, movie, t.v. show, person, ideal, anything (or all, or several)…and just say why you like it…and then…I want you to respond in some way to the person before you…I don’t mean bashing their opinions or anything…but disagreeing is fine…so…let’s see how the fireworks fly tonight…

Well…the first person who does it can respond to whoever they want I guess
It can be in a comment…or in a post...or anything

Goodness I’m seriously scared about this and I don’t know why I’m doing this…but…as one of my favorite people ever once said….,”but who fu****g cares?”

-digital delay

Scrubbing for my Dollar

To start off the month of May, I’ll write a little something about ‘greed’.

Being my bored self, I took a look at my aunt’s bookshelf, and I spotted an odd looking book, titled “DUH! The Stupid History of the Human Race”. (hmm, maybe that’s true…). I flipped to a random page in the book, which led me to “Chapter 14: Dumb Things Famous People Said.” Wow…really, really interesting…is it?

Actually, it is. Coincidentally, this quote was on the page:

“I think greed is healthy. You can be greedy and still feel good about yourself.”
-Ivan Boesky, financier

I laughed to myself when I read that. In some ways, that’s true—because when you’re greedy, it’s always about yourself. Moments where you feel greedy are the moments where you feel selfish. Don’t take me wrong—you might not be a selfish person, but everyone has their own selfish moments, right?

I can’t even recall the countless moments where I’ve felt greedy. Ranging from video games to books to music, I’ve always dreamed of getting everything. I mean, if you have an amount of wealth equal to that of Bill Gates, you could just point to something you want and you’ll get it! How GREAT is that?

But then again, would you have the same feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when you buy the item? When you work extremely hard for your money, and you actually start spending it on something, you feel good when you get it, because you know you earned it really well. I mean, you also ‘earned’ the bunches of money you have (when you’re wealthy), but when you earn less, everything you buy will seem so much more valuable. Instead of saying “Oh, wow, the newest Guitar Hero is being released tomorrow. I’ll just go tell my chauffeur to drive me there tomorrow and get it,” it’d be much more satisfying in the end if you said, “Oh, the newest Guitar Hero is being released tomorrow. Let me work hard to earn the amount of money, and then I’ll go buy it!” That way, while you’re playing the game, you’ll have a warm feeling on the inside that you worked your butt off to get this time to play.

Dang! That was a long, random ramble. I’m just sittin’ here at my aunt’s computer in San Diego typing some random article because of this random spark of inspiration from this random book I found on her random bookshelf. Yeah…random.

-the clam.