Scrubbing for my Dollar

To start off the month of May, I’ll write a little something about ‘greed’.

Being my bored self, I took a look at my aunt’s bookshelf, and I spotted an odd looking book, titled “DUH! The Stupid History of the Human Race”. (hmm, maybe that’s true…). I flipped to a random page in the book, which led me to “Chapter 14: Dumb Things Famous People Said.” Wow…really, really interesting…is it?

Actually, it is. Coincidentally, this quote was on the page:

“I think greed is healthy. You can be greedy and still feel good about yourself.”
-Ivan Boesky, financier

I laughed to myself when I read that. In some ways, that’s true—because when you’re greedy, it’s always about yourself. Moments where you feel greedy are the moments where you feel selfish. Don’t take me wrong—you might not be a selfish person, but everyone has their own selfish moments, right?

I can’t even recall the countless moments where I’ve felt greedy. Ranging from video games to books to music, I’ve always dreamed of getting everything. I mean, if you have an amount of wealth equal to that of Bill Gates, you could just point to something you want and you’ll get it! How GREAT is that?

But then again, would you have the same feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when you buy the item? When you work extremely hard for your money, and you actually start spending it on something, you feel good when you get it, because you know you earned it really well. I mean, you also ‘earned’ the bunches of money you have (when you’re wealthy), but when you earn less, everything you buy will seem so much more valuable. Instead of saying “Oh, wow, the newest Guitar Hero is being released tomorrow. I’ll just go tell my chauffeur to drive me there tomorrow and get it,” it’d be much more satisfying in the end if you said, “Oh, the newest Guitar Hero is being released tomorrow. Let me work hard to earn the amount of money, and then I’ll go buy it!” That way, while you’re playing the game, you’ll have a warm feeling on the inside that you worked your butt off to get this time to play.

Dang! That was a long, random ramble. I’m just sittin’ here at my aunt’s computer in San Diego typing some random article because of this random spark of inspiration from this random book I found on her random bookshelf. Yeah…random.

-the clam.

"Mother, where'd you put the prime steak?"

What to do when your mother or wife isn't home to cook for you:

Easy ways to keep yourself alive when you're afraid of burning the house down because you do not know how to use the stove.

Now, before you say anything, cooking isn't just a chick thing, guys can cook, too. There's no need to be embarrassed of it. I can not cook that well, but I can manage to survive without my mommy. Um, er, did I just say mommy? I meant Mother. Yes, that's what I meant to say. Ehem... Alright, moving on.

You can make many things without using the stove, but guys, if you have to, please exercise caution.

1. Cold Cereal

Ingredients: Cereal and Milk.
Directions: Stir the cereal and milk together. It doesn't matter which goes first, just remember the bowl. Serves one person.

2. Sandwiches

Ingredients: Bread, and...stuff to put in the bread...
Directions: Put the stuff inside the bread...and then you...eat it...

3. Cheese and Crackers

Ingredients: Cheese and, er, crackers...
Directions: You put the cheese on top of the crackers.

4. Hot Pockets

Ingredients: This little thing that's called a hot pocket.
Directions: Put the hot pocket in the microwave, and put 45 minutes on the turntable. Take the plastic wrapper off and wrap it in a piece of aluminum foil. Once you see a blinding light go off in the microwave, your hot pocket is ready.

I make it like that all the time. The fire department had to come most of the time, but other than that, my hot pocket tasted okay. A little burnt, but still okay.

5. Left overs

Microwaving left overs is a good way to satisfy your hunger. Cover the plates with this see through foil-ish thing, stick them in the microwave, and press the buttons for the turntable.

6. Campbell's Soups

Stick the whole can in the microwave and watch it explode.


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There'll be more random advice in my next post. Remember to check for more updates from the group.

Nathaniel Stanton

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My bad, I don't how it happened, but the second comment by I deleted somehow. Sorry, ma'am.

Huh?

Well.....lets see here...

Seeing as how the other posts mentioned a few select words (music, recommendations, guilty pleasure, shy,etc.)....blahblahblah


Everybody has something they do, which quite frankly, they might be embarrassed of. I'm actually quite embarrassed to say I've never actually attempted to sing. Perhaps the occasional joke or something, but never sincerely. I think that's quite appalling. I do, however, have another thing. Two words : air guitar. Honestly, how can You (maybe just me) not air guitar to Weezer's Blue Album? Rivers Cuomo came up with same great solos. Or how about Paranoid Android's insane choruses? Along with all that, I do lip-sync...a lot. I just can't help myself but to lip-sync to certain stuff . Especifically Tegan and Sara's Relief Next to Me, The Con, Back in Your Head, blahblahblah and my favorite, the end of Burn Your Life Down.

Yup, it's hard not to laugh at someone like me, even I do.

Of course, there's the real guitar. Then again, what's the point when you can't even play it. Another favorite, that never fails to cheer me up, Weezer's El Scorcho

Some Random Stuff

• During a portion of writing this, my shirt was backward
• Also, for a short time, i was eating a Klondike bar (delicious)
  
• Why doesn't anyone make cheap jazzmaster or double cutaway Les Paul copies?
• So far, my favorite bass line ever is Only in Dreams
• Love Paranoid Android, and its reference to Marvin from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, one of the best literature characters ever
  
• Why do I not know anyone who likes Tegan and Sara, other than being great musicians, they're also hilarious...
  
• I'm a guy, so my opinions would be......no idea
• I have no natural talent in anything
  
• I'm also a jerk.

yes, the date does make this look like I went into the future