Friday, July 10, 2009

what's yours is...mine?

suddenly it seems I'm aware

of everything in front of me

what's beneath

what's above

everything within reach

a smack in the face

a chilling spine

everything that's yours

is also mine

I want it to be

you, me, everyone we know

sharing these things


pain and comfort

love and hate


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Thursday, July 9, 2009

how inappropriate

Does anyone ever get the feeling that we're all growing up too fast? Maybe it's because we're young, but when I stop and think it feels as if time has flown much too soon. One minute, we're learning about cooties, and the next we're having standpoints on same sex marriage and abortion. I'm not sure if in our parents days, kids were as knowledgeable as they are now of sex, but I've got to talk about this because...well... it's just so appropriate.

For me, sexuality is something that everybody goes through at some point. Whether it's coming out of the closet, or coming out of your clothing, I guess you could say that no matter what it's going to happen. A perfect example is the forty-year-old virgin. My point is this: when sexuality awakens, we should embrace it. No matter what our parents say, or what everyone else says, you shouldn't be ashamed of something that is both natural and perfectly normal in your mind's eye/heart/soul. You can't help the things that attract you just like how you can't help whichever gender you're born.

This can be put into aspect by how parents tend to shy away from telling their kids anything about sex. For one, it seems almost as if they believe that if their kid isn't exposed to anything having to do with it, they won't get pregnant. However, they tend to forget that kids aren't stupid. They "get bored, and have intercourse". In my honest opinion, I believe that it is better to be safe than sorry.

While my aunt believes that commercials about 'it's not even there' condoms is inappropriate, I choose to believe that it's a good thing to be informed. It's good to have our options open.

I just think when it comes down to sexuality, we don't even have to think explicitly. I think that with it, comes the feelings associated with love. The 'heart skipping' and 'pulse stopping' feelings. Your first kiss, first hand-holding, first embrace. In the end, I think that it all contributes to making you feel alive. You become aware of yourself, and what's more, the person who you're with or after. In the end, when it "awakens", I guess a part of you is awakening, too, right?

rated what?

karma police


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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I was pretty sure it was the cow.

Yesterday, I managed to get all of my old music out of my old computer. I hate to admit it, but somehow Vista came in handy during this. Although I'm pretty sure it fucked up somewhere along the process. Anyway, while I rummaged through all this old music, half of the stuff on there I hardly recognized. It had been so long, and perhaps I never really listened to most of the stuff. Hell, I still don't. So I wonder, "Why do I even have this stuff?". Apparently I just decided to get whatever I thought sounded alright, a whole album maybe, or half of it. Or people gave me them, or whatever. But what's the point of having all this music that you aren't really attached to? Hm, after all this, I briefly begin to question my own motives, as I often do, since I'm pretty sure I'm a lazy biased jackass. But I realize that I wanted all this music, to prove the little fucking individuality I have. There's really no point. After coming up with this conclusion I decided to think no further, since I don't like thinking about things anyway. But, what is our fascination with individuality? There's nothing to it, it really is absolutely nothing. It's a big piece of shit that we like to eat up a lot. Perhaps the less you try, the more "against the grain" you'll become. Although I'd say it's also a damn good marketing plea, along the lines of "you deserve everything because your perfect and how to get exactly what you want" and "your not good enough just yet, but with this and this you can be". Just look at Chuck Taylor Converse, fuck they're the shoe of our fucking generation but people love them anyway. What about all those magazines that tell you how to get your perfect body, or your perfect spouse? Fucking feminists. Although that doesn't mean men aren't dickheads, because well we are.

and so...just like Tegan and Sara this past week have done...I'm back and gone again.


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Sunday, July 5, 2009

where are you?

Does anyone ever notice that when finding something new, you tend to feel "revived" (or whatever)? It's like... you find a shirt that looks really freaking good on you, and just by wearing it you feel like a completely new person. You find a band that nobody's heard of, and suddenly you feel like you're in on the best kept secret of this century. Or, maybe, it doesn't even have to be something new. It could be something old. Something you forgot about. Running into old friends and seeing the change in them, it makes you really aware that you are the way you are. It makes you wonder if in their eyes, you've changed, too.

When people think of revived, what do they think of? Reincarnation? Refreshed? Renewed? I guess all those apply, but for me, right now, it's that feeling of being aware you're alive. It's looking around, blinking a few times, and seeing the world from a light that you don't normally see it. Suddenly, everything's different, right? Suddenly, for one moment, it's like you've FOUND THAT MISSING PIECE! (coughcough). It's not for forever, but it's for a moment. For one moment you're feeling complete, and completely happy and content about your life.

I guess when it comes to this kind of stuff- finding that missing piece- you can't really look for it, but you can't really sit around waiting, either. It's like that method of taking off a ring that's stuck on your finger, or looking for something you really want. You have to pretend you don't want to find it, or look away and tell yourself that the ring isn't even on your finger in the first place. So, I guess, if you think mathematically, you can tell yourself 'I don't want to find my missing piece...' and your missing piece will find you.....?

I'm not sure if that works, but it's worth a shot, right?

But, my dear great escape, I think that when it comes to these things there's not telling. There is never a guarantee on whether or not that missing piece will make you feel happy. Just like how the other pieces to you aren't always ones that make you happy. You have to think of circumstances, and various factors. I mean, what if the missing piece has a tendency to change shape every once in a while? I don't think people have one solid shape, therefore, the missing piece that you seek will always be fluctuating... right?

I don't know, but for me, it seems unsettling that the one thing that can make you happy/happier is something that you don't know, yet know all at once. But then again, isn't everything always a little unsettling? Oooh.. How thrilling !

here I am !

karma police

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