WTF?

whatever happened?

It seems that this blog is beginning to whither down to a little more than nothing. It's been fun, but goodbye? I hope not, but I'm pretty sure it's soon to happen. Fortunately, I had a spout of boredom and decided to take a click onto AM at 12:42 AM in the morning. I was going through the articles, and amazingly I had to wonder how much I've grown since I've started writing on here.

This will be immensely horrible in syntax, structure, etc...

It's amazing what time does to the relationships with people. You grow apart, you move closer, you notice the kids you've grown up with become true to their own idea of their identity. You see people dress in ways you never thought they'd dress, while others are still wearing the same thing as yesterday.

I guess I have a fascination with change, but I'm sure not going to deny some form of transformation from the person I was this time last year til now. Wow. It's late, I'm tired. And I'm sure this is horribly written, but at least I'm semi-making sense.

I just wanted to point out that I think we've all (on AM) reached a point where we don't really need a blog to voice our opinions simply because we can voice them on our own. I mean, it's nice to write, but I think we've all grown in our own way to the point where AM is just for pleasure rather than whatever else it may have represented before. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but there you go.

Whatever.

what goes around, comes around;

karma police

El Oh Vee Ee.

"I think that possibly, maybe, I'm falling for you."

There was this boy that caught her eye.
He made her laugh.
His hair looked nice, and his smile did, too.
He had this great personality.
And nice eyes.
And he was oh, so funny.
He made her smile all the time.
He gave her these weird feelings in her stomach.
Her heart leapt whenever she saw him.
She thought about him all the time.
She didn't know how to make it stop.
And so she went to her best friend, who was very wise.
She told him everything.
And he listened.
And when she was finished,
her best friend said,
"I believe you're in love."
Only then did she know what this amazing feeling was.

new perspective?

On bad days, Tegan tended to enjoy singing at the top of her lungs in the shower. And on this particular day, she knows it'll be horrible simply because her shower is broken and her throat hurts. All her good clothes are either dirty, or lost in the array of her house.

On top of that, her cat is missing, her nails are too long, and she has to go to a reunion filled with a bunch of her "friends" from high school. "Friends" meaning a hundred people who you saw everyday for four years who didn't know much about you except that you had an interesting name and wore too much black.

"Friends" also meaning the same people who Tegan occasionally sees but doesn't acknowledge because they don't recognnize her as the girl who had a mental breakdown on prom (Not that she ever likes to dwell on that).

In short, Tegan knew the moment she couldn't work the shower was the worst omen she could ever possibly get. She knew that by the end of the day she would be ready to sleep for a good twelve hours after eating entirely too much comfort food and writing a few angsty twitter status updates. A petty way to cope with a not-so perfect day.

It was a Tuesday.

------------

On good days, Jack finds lucky heads-up pennies on the floor. Today, he's already found two. He's feeling good, and he's looking forward to finally getting to see his friends from high school. It's been four years, he's changed, but he's still Jack. The same guy who everyone liked. Not loved, but liked. He's ready to spend the night being nostalgic and to come home with a few phone numbers. He's ready to wake up to nurse a hangover and go to work where his lovely receptionist will greet him with a knowing smile.

Jack used to be an unlucky character, but now he's got all the luck in the world. He's gone from average-joe to cool guy, and he's ready to show everyone that he could've been one of the ones everyone envied.

Before leaving to his reunion, Jack helps the old lady across the hall get a few groceries and earns twenty dollars and nail clippers. He finds a particularly chubby cat and brings it back to his apartment and feeds it some tuna. He takes a hot shower and wears clothes that he's sure look good on him. He's ready for a good night, a good way to end a good day.

It was a Tuesday.

---------

Tegan reaches the too-fancy restaurant late. As always. She enters the room and everyone's already laughing at something some good-looking guy is saying. She's looking around at somewhat familiar strangers, and they're all turning their heads towards her in confusion.

They don't recognize her, of course.

"Hi," Tegan says, and she makes sure to stretch a little so they can take a good look at the killer-body her job has forced her to acquire. "What have I missed?"

She notices the looks change in two ways. Everyone's thinking either A) who the heck is that? or B) holy damn look at those abs. Inside, she's already wishing she wasn't there.

"Um, hey, no mean to sound rude or anything," says one particularly rude good-looking guy, "But who are you and why do we have such an honor?"

"Ohhh, you don't know me?" Tegan says and she laughs a little, "that makes me so sad!"

"Yeah," says a rather creepy fellow eyeing her up and down, "It makes me sad, too."

Eventually, everyone goes back to talking and Tegan's sitting at the edge of the room, drinking her fifth glass of (you guessed it) water. She sees all the familiar faces, just aged a few years in time. Nobody's changed much, but at the same time everyone's different.

"Hi, Tegan," says a cheery voice, "thought nobody recognized you, huh?"

Tegan looks up in surpise and is even more surprised to see that it's Jack. Or, rather, a very good looking and confident version of what used to be Jack. She thinks her life can't get any worse, but next thing she knows he's sitting down and leaning in close.

"How've you been?" she says, leaning away. "You look great."

He smiles and she notices that his teeth are perfectly straight. Something that Jack didn't have in High School. "I've been great. You don't look bad yourself."

She smiles comprehensively. He didn't even know.

-----

He was working the room, and he was working the people. Jack was confident that at the end of the night, he'd finally get the attention of the hottest girl of the room. In the case of Senior year it would've been Macy, but Macy now has big huge implants that everyone knows aren't natural except for her. It is at the interruption of no one other than Tegan, when Jack realizes that he isn't the only one has changed.

Everyone doesn't recognize Tegan, but Jack does straight off the bat. She's dressed clothes that show off areas that not many aren't confident to show off, but she wears herself just as she always does- away. When she's addressing the people, though, he notices a sort of switch she makes: from Tegan to Mystery girl. He doesn't know much about Tegan, but he sure wants to know about Mystery girl.

So, he approaches her as she sulks in the corner of the room, and once they start talking, he sees the switch come on, and Tegan fade away.

"What have you been doing since we've graduated?"

She smiles, "Oh, just a few things here and there."

He grins, making sure to show off his perfect smile. "Cool, cool. So listen, I'd love to keep in touch with you after tonight. It seems we never really got to talk back then, but I'd like to now."

She smirks. "No kidding?"

----

Tegan was sure he was kidding. Not only was he coming on too strongly, but he had to be kidding if he thought that she'd want to talk to him again after this night.

"No kidding," and once again Tegan gets a good douse of too much crest-whitening.

"Well," she says and she smiles at him coyly, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way." She's getting out of there. Pronto. "But, I don't have a pen.."

He looks disappointed, just a little, but takes out his phone. "Just give me yours, and I'll call myself with it.

She can't believe she didn't think of that. She really can't.

Hesitantly, she gives him her phone and just like that, the deal is done. The fate is sealed. She was going to have to go out with him on another day and as kindly as she can.. reject him. All cause her stupid shower didn't work. All cause all her good clothes were in the wash and she had to wear her stupid slut clothes.

What a great night.

-----

Jack was sure he was getting a second date and more from Tegan. He was feeling her, and she was feeling him. He was sure of it. He smiled at her again, and he stood up.

"Want something to drink?"

She shook her head. "I don't drink."

He nodded, "Me neither." Lie. "I think it's so dumb to get wasted." Lie again.

She looked surprised, but pleasantly so. "Really? That's really good to hear." She stood up, looking at her watch. "Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to get going. Call me?"

Jack smiled. He had her. "Of course" He watched her walk away, and walked towards the bar for a beer.

What a great night.

what's yours is...mine?

suddenly it seems I'm aware

of everything in front of me

what's beneath

what's above

everything within reach

a smack in the face

a chilling spine

everything that's yours

is also mine

I want it to be

you, me, everyone we know

sharing these things

experiencing

pain and comfort

love and hate

everything.

how inappropriate

Does anyone ever get the feeling that we're all growing up too fast? Maybe it's because we're young, but when I stop and think it feels as if time has flown much too soon. One minute, we're learning about cooties, and the next we're having standpoints on same sex marriage and abortion. I'm not sure if in our parents days, kids were as knowledgeable as they are now of sex, but I've got to talk about this because...well... it's just so appropriate.

For me, sexuality is something that everybody goes through at some point. Whether it's coming out of the closet, or coming out of your clothing, I guess you could say that no matter what it's going to happen. A perfect example is the forty-year-old virgin. My point is this: when sexuality awakens, we should embrace it. No matter what our parents say, or what everyone else says, you shouldn't be ashamed of something that is both natural and perfectly normal in your mind's eye/heart/soul. You can't help the things that attract you just like how you can't help whichever gender you're born.

This can be put into aspect by how parents tend to shy away from telling their kids anything about sex. For one, it seems almost as if they believe that if their kid isn't exposed to anything having to do with it, they won't get pregnant. However, they tend to forget that kids aren't stupid. They "get bored, and have intercourse". In my honest opinion, I believe that it is better to be safe than sorry.

While my aunt believes that commercials about 'it's not even there' condoms is inappropriate, I choose to believe that it's a good thing to be informed. It's good to have our options open.

I just think when it comes down to sexuality, we don't even have to think explicitly. I think that with it, comes the feelings associated with love. The 'heart skipping' and 'pulse stopping' feelings. Your first kiss, first hand-holding, first embrace. In the end, I think that it all contributes to making you feel alive. You become aware of yourself, and what's more, the person who you're with or after. In the end, when it "awakens", I guess a part of you is awakening, too, right?

rated what?

karma police

p.s. TWO HUNDRED, WHAT?

I was pretty sure it was moooooooog....like the cow.

Yesterday, I managed to get all of my old music out of my old computer. I hate to admit it, but somehow Vista came in handy during this. Although I'm pretty sure it fucked up somewhere along the process. Anyway, while I rummaged through all this old music, half of the stuff on there I hardly recognized. It had been so long, and perhaps I never really listened to most of the stuff. Hell, I still don't. So I wonder, "Why do I even have this stuff?". Apparently I just decided to get whatever I thought sounded alright, a whole album maybe, or half of it. Or people gave me them, or whatever. But what's the point of having all this music that you aren't really attached to? Hm, after all this, I briefly begin to question my own motives, as I often do, since I'm pretty sure I'm a lazy biased jackass. But I realize that I wanted all this music, to prove the little fucking individuality I have. There's really no point. After coming up with this conclusion I decided to think no further, since I don't like thinking about things anyway. But, what is our fascination with individuality? There's nothing to it, it really is absolutely nothing. It's a big piece of shit that we like to eat up a lot. Perhaps the less you try, the more "against the grain" you'll become. Although I'd say it's also a damn good marketing plea, along the lines of "you deserve everything because your perfect and how to get exactly what you want" and "your not good enough just yet, but with this and this you can be". Just look at Chuck Taylor Converse, fuck they're the shoe of our fucking generation but people love them anyway. What about all those magazines that tell you how to get your perfect body, or your perfect spouse? Fucking feminists. Although that doesn't mean men aren't dickheads, because well we are.

and so...just like Tegan and Sara this past week have done...I'm back and gone again.

-digitadelay

where are you?

Does anyone ever notice that when finding something new, you tend to feel "revived" (or whatever)? It's like... you find a shirt that looks really freaking good on you, and just by wearing it you feel like a completely new person. You find a band that nobody's heard of, and suddenly you feel like you're in on the best kept secret of this century. Or, maybe, it doesn't even have to be something new. It could be something old. Something you forgot about. Running into old friends and seeing the change in them, it makes you really aware that you are the way you are. It makes you wonder if in their eyes, you've changed, too.

When people think of revived, what do they think of? Reincarnation? Refreshed? Renewed? I guess all those apply, but for me, right now, it's that feeling of being aware you're alive. It's looking around, blinking a few times, and seeing the world from a light that you don't normally see it. Suddenly, everything's different, right? Suddenly, for one moment, it's like you've FOUND THAT MISSING PIECE! (coughcough). It's not for forever, but it's for a moment. For one moment you're feeling complete, and completely happy and content about your life.

I guess when it comes to this kind of stuff- finding that missing piece- you can't really look for it, but you can't really sit around waiting, either. It's like that method of taking off a ring that's stuck on your finger, or looking for something you really want. You have to pretend you don't want to find it, or look away and tell yourself that the ring isn't even on your finger in the first place. So, I guess, if you think mathematically, you can tell yourself 'I don't want to find my missing piece...' and your missing piece will find you.....?

I'm not sure if that works, but it's worth a shot, right?

But, my dear great escape, I think that when it comes to these things there's not telling. There is never a guarantee on whether or not that missing piece will make you feel happy. Just like how the other pieces to you aren't always ones that make you happy. You have to think of circumstances, and various factors. I mean, what if the missing piece has a tendency to change shape every once in a while? I don't think people have one solid shape, therefore, the missing piece that you seek will always be fluctuating... right?

I don't know, but for me, it seems unsettling that the one thing that can make you happy/happier is something that you don't know, yet know all at once. But then again, isn't everything always a little unsettling? Oooh.. How thrilling !

here I am !

karma police

I Don't Know What I'm Doing.

I need to find the missing piece to my puzzle.
(Metaphorically)
It feels like I've got everything I need, except this one tiny part of great importance.
I really don't know where it is.
Or, how to find it.
Heck, I don't even know where to start looking for it.
I need it, though. I want it.
To be happy. To know that everything is going to be okay. To succeed.
All the other pieces are in the right place; everything is in tact.
But they don't matter as much as this one will.
It will make me feel complete.
In all of my confusion, there is one thing that I do know:
I know exactly what it is.
and how wonderfully I'll feel once I have it.

Yours,
my.great.ESCAPE.

Still Alive

*thump…thump….thump….*

Yes, we’re still alive.

It’s amazing how long this hiatus has been. As is with the regular excuse(s), either we’ve been busy with real life or we’ve just been too lazy to write anything (which is commonly the case). But I started this blog with the intent to keep it alive…or even just “barely alive”…for as long into the future as possible, assuming the world doesn’t end in 2012.

Mr. Stanton was the person that helped me realize the importance of A.M. again. In a class presentation, he said that Acquired Minds served as a blog that brought us—as friends—together, and helped us learn more about each other through our writing. A pang of guilt went through me as he was talking about it. Maybe this blog really was doing something for the better.

Alright, so no one outside of us (the Acquired Minds) reads this stuff. But who the heck cares. We’ve written almost 200 articles over the span of one and a half years—articles that came from our own thoughts, opinions, and ideas. We have already created something that has a part of us in it. Letting this blog die is almost like letting a part of us wither away. Each and every word and article is already important if, at least, we pay attention to it.

So, without a proper poll, let July be a month of Revival.

-the clam.
(and it feels damn good signing off once again)

P.S. Rest in peace: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

a little more seriously now

I always write the stupidest entries ever. It seems I'm never satisfied with them. Ever. Ever. Ever. It also seems that they tend to not have a point anymore. Hm. Just recently the E string on my electric guitar snapped and I've plunged into a sea of guitarless-ness. It's kind of horrible. But, thank the lord! Yesterday, I took a dear friend of mine's acoustic guitar and spent a good two hours learning how to play a song.

Life is good.

On tumblr they have this thing called MLIA. Which I think is used to make fun of FML. Fml--> Fuck my life. MLIA--> my life is average. Fun fun funny! So I guess you could say that going on acquiredminds for the first time in a long time struck a note of guilt. Then, because of that guilt I clicked the new post button in order to post an article. The funny thing is, that it's all an act of guilt. Does that make sense? I don't seem to make sense a lot these days. MLIA.

I guess guilt makes people do a lot of things. I think guilt was the root of the phrase I'm Sorry, and also the root of breakup/makeup sex (Hi, Digital Delay!). It's also the root for those "I'm sorry let's have breakup/makeup sex" songs. How nice. It seems guilt is a strong force if it can make it sound like it belongs to the billboard top 100.

In the end, all I have to say is that I don't seem to know what I'm thinking anymore. Yet, at the same time, it seems that my thoughts have been more clear. Doest that make sense? I need to stop asking that. I just want you guys to know that if I had more purpose in what I wrote, I'd definitely come on here more often. If I could find the right words to convey the message in my mind, I'd definitely be able to keep you guys coming for more of our acquired taste.

a little less guilty now,

karma police

make your move

So it's almost the end of the year. The end of the school year, that is. It seems to me that a lot has changed from it's beginning to it's end- one of the biggest being that as of now I seem to be constantly MIA from this website. You all can blame tumblr for my absence, and my new lack of anonymity (thanks for posting it without my permission guys -_-)

If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that love's not a competition (but I'm winning... or at least I thought so). Oh did you guys see that? Quote integration! That should boost up my essay grade! Ha ha ha.

It seems that I've learned a lot in the game of love this year. Some things I've learned are:

• never keep a relationship a huge secret
• never date within whatever extracurricular activity you do.
  
• first kisses (if it's both of your first kisses) will be wet.
• FCK REJECTION! Kind of.
• boys are not as insensitive as we think they are
• never let a someone you have romantic interest with write in your book in pen.
• don't let your romantic interest ever keep you from doing things you want to do.
• kissing. kissing. kissing. kissing. <3>

That's basically some of the stuff I've learned. Basically. Romantically, it seems I've learned a lot about myself. But it also seems that I have a crudload of other stuff to learn, as well. I know that my friends are always going to want to know about whowhatwhenwhere and that they'll be there for me no matter who I perk interest in.

What a year;
kp

p.s. dude. take off my tumblr yeah?

Hello

Oh hey, look who's back. It's been a while, but I thought it'd be nice to come back. Kinda like breakup sex, or make makeup sex, either one. Anyway, I've been doing a bit of thinking (as in...thinking right now as I make this article...), the kind that comes in minuscule amounts (my favorite kind!). It's bad for you to think too much. But, what is it about the past that we agonize over? I know it's a cliche, and people like avoiding cliches, so I'm not being cliche by being cliche, so it's all good. But, the past contains everything we don't want it to, and as human beings, we are forced by our insidiously nasty nature to constantly ponder about our wouldas, couldas, and shouldas.

People will say that there's no point in remember the past, but I still think it's a good idea to remember how old your kids are, if you have any. That's the funny thing about the past, there are good things (memories) and bad things (memories/STDs/bitchy-exes)). But sometimes those good things are bad, and those bad things are good (funny ol' world isn't it?).

Sometimes those good memories do nothing but taunt you. They wag their happy little asses at you as you sit there staying dumbfounded at how happy their asses are. You wish you too, could you happily wag your happy ass at miserable suckers like yourself. You wish you could revisit those moments, relive them. Maybe, if your a lucky bastard, those memories will give you strength, instead of suck it out of you, like a Delilah (thank you 30 Rock). But shame that they often don't. And then, there are those bad moments, like when you got that STD, or when you lost something very important, or you did something stupid becuase you were a stupid bitch. Now, maybe you'll learn a thing or two. That counts as a good thing right?

-digitaldelay

It's called a HUG.

"When you hug someone, never be the first to let go."

It’s a five-second moment,
I get once in a while.
I live for these moments,
for one, I’d walk a mile.

Every single time,
it makes me feel great.
And at the right time,
never too late.

A brief bit of contact
that I could share with one.
So warm is that contact,
and always so much fun.

It’s a magical bond,
which we can all relate.
An extraordinary bond,
to love and create.

You can find me smiling,
because the moment is all mine.
Everyone would be smiling,
because everything is just fine.

-my.great.ESCAPE.

More than Necessary

"For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour trying to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process." -Erma Bombeck

Parents have the fantastic job of having a child. Then raising them. Which means feeding, burping, taking care of, getting scratched in the face, performing potty duty, and waking up at 2 AM to soothe the crying child while being frustrated because they don’t know what the baby wants. What parent doesn’t want their child to start talking?

Then the kid reaches the “terrible two’s”. He/she can crawl and walk now, say “no” to nearly everything, and eat a decent array of food. Most of all, they know a basic amount of vocabulary. Unfortunately, if the parents hadn’t supervised their language, the poor innocent kid might be reciting some curse words now and then. Cute, but not good. Regret #1.

Ah, school. It gets more interesting. The child begins to learn more foreign languages, and new information. With no one else to tell their profound discoveries, they unload it in a messy barrage on their parents. “Di’ you know da numba 8 has two circles in it?! COOL!” Regret #2.

And then comes the more dreaded part--puberty and the teenage years. Yes, we understand the mood swings, the different voices, and the modified body parts. But what many parents don’t understand is why their teenagers start getting upset with them for no reason, and refuse to listen. Did puberty plug their ears with something, too?...besides an iPod? Regret #3.

Off to college and beyond. Believe me, I bet parents would be bald by this point after pulling at their hair, wishing their children could just shut up. Luckily, their child finds the special someone. Then they’re whisked away, gone from the house faster than the time it took to spank, feed, house, and raise them. Now the parents wished they had anything at all to talk to…besides to each other. Regr--well, no regrets.

-the clam.

Hilarity.

"A day without laughter is like a day without sunshine."

I thought this quote was interesting; it's pretty much the story of my life. Ask anyone, I laugh at everything. (The longest time I've lasted in a straight-face contest was 9 seconds.) Despite having a tougher time standing up to others, this is a pretty strong point in my personality, I would think. Laughing rids me of any frustrating problems and makes me real happy. The only thing better than that is making others laugh or smile. It shows genuine joy, and pretty much anybody can [should] laugh: one from a whole different country, one much older or younger than you, it doesn't matter, we can all laugh.

A friend joked once, saying that I was laugh too much, and that my "laugh-o-meter" was running out. Apparently, we have this "laugh-o-meter" thing that indicates the amount of laughter we have in our lives, and I'm "using it up too soon" and I will be "a boring, monotonous person" when I grow old. For me, I think everybody's "laugh-o-meter" is the same: It's infinite.

In fact, I have a "the funniest thing happened today!" every. single. day.

-my.great.ESCAPE.

:D
xD

April's Theme: Breaks and Bids

<-|April 2009|->

..Breaks and Bids..

This was one small month, alright. Two articles...that's a record! *heh*

And, presenting the super small summary...

Shivers and Silence - Do you fear public speaking over death?

Feelings of Charity - Forgetting that we're supposed to do things for their own sake.

Let's get on to the next month already (May): Quoted Inspirations

-the clam.

Feelings of Charity

(image thanks to www.move.org.sg)

Why can’t one thing represent two things? Honestly, I don’t care if it’s half-full or half-empty. Half of whatever is in the container is just there. Let it be, people, let it beeee.

So I’m sitting here with absolutely nothing to write about. Yes, I’m typing an article even when I don’t even know what I’m saying. Oh, that's something. Doing things even when you’re not aware of what you’re doing.

It’s pointless to start on this topic, since I’m probably going to spurt out a bunch of crap anyway…but that’s what most people do in these situations, right? It’s not the greatest thing in the world. Doing things “for the sake of it” is pretty terrible, too. You can actually connect this to a percentage of high school students and volunteer work. Volunteering was meant to be an opportunity for the volunteer to dedicate some of their time (for nothing in return) towards doing a healthy act of charity for the community and society. NOT.

Sadly, there are students doing volunteer work “just for the sake of it”. They’d respond, “But it’s to help me look good for college!” Is that what volunteering has become? Just an extra to spiff up one’s college application? That sense of pride and accomplishment in the thing called “volunteering” has been stripped to glitter and stickers to polish a high school record.

As with most of the articles I’ve written, I’m a giant beast of a hypocrite behind each. I admit: I have done volunteer work for the “sake” of it. Previously, I didn’t have much thought for volunteering. It just felt like an obligation to waste my weekend hours away to help out with something I probably wouldn’t even support, but seemed like it was necessary to help me gain entry into a university of my choice. But, that’s changed.

It wasn’t until volunteering in a marathon did I get a drastic change in my viewpoint. My duty at the site was to hand out medals to the marathon finishers and later, pass out food and snacks to those that finished. For the first time ever, it felt like I was doing something really right in my life. The joy in the racer’s faces as I handed them their medal was astonishing. Mind you, it was raining hard, and there were extremely strong gusts of cold wind. By the end of the medal-giving, I was literally completely drenched from head to toe.

The food-giving gave me an opportunity to congratulate the racers face-to-face. They thanked us, the volunteers, for being there. But we really had to thank them for finishing the race in all that weather. Their thank-you’s were so gratifying. It felt great that they had such an appreciation for me, and in return, having such an appreciation towards them.

Just finding the inspiration to move on with the world.

-the clam.

Shivers and Silence

(thanks to whole-person-counseling.com for image)

It’s a natural feeling to be nervous before a class presentation…I think. Maybe not when you’re about to wet your pants because you’ve downed two bottles of water in 5 minutes, or when you’re shivering like you’ve just been thrown into a below-0 degree freezer. I can recall my 4th grade experience with that…well, not the water part, but I was certainly shivering. That presentation I had to make in 4th grade was my first ever class project presentation in my entire life. You bet I was nervous. Don’t worry, it turned out okay. I could have been louder (as the usual), but I was only 9 years old, com’on.

It wasn’t until 5th grade that I had a wider experience with standing up and talking. My 5th grade teacher gave us projects almost every other week…and if you’ve guessed it, yes, we had to present each and every one of those projects. Sometimes it would be a surprise too. Then I’d have to make up a presentation right on the spot.

But the worst came when I had to present my Tanzania project with my partner. That was the worst anxiety attack I have ever had before a presentation. I did both those things I mentioned in the first paragraph…I was drinking water like crazy, and I was shivering all at the same time. When we finally got up there, we only had a maximum of 10 minutes to present. I took up 7 minutes of that time, leaving my partner with only 3 minutes. But oh well, it was good enough, in my opinion.

The only greatest time I ever had with a presentation was with another partner, in 8th grade. It was a PowerPoint presentation, so we had our script right then and there. I feel lucky to have had such a great partner. She was always loud and energetic, so it made me feel more comfortable in the process. When I was speaking, I didn’t really have a problem at all. I was reading the PowerPoint, but at the same time, I was also “teaching” the class too. Looking back, I can’t believe I was able to do that. My partner did the same, and as a result, we got high praises from our teacher. Hey, I like to be a bit conceited now and then.

Public speaking is a pretty tough thing for some people (me included). Just the thought of having to go outside and say something is hard. I’m still going through the process of finding my own voice, myself. For all those other clams out there, you’re not alone. I’m still working on it, and I guess I’m having some progress. I’d have to thank my friends for that, especially those S&D’ers ;). I think I’d throw a party the day I’m able to say “Screw getting nervous and being shy…life is loud and proud!”

-the clam.

March's Theme: The Greener Side

Is the greener side always better? Eh, there are diverse opinions discussed in the articles in this past month, and we more or less agreed on some ideas. But hey, going green is always good...I think.

And without further green discussion, here's the summary:

colors in the dark: karma police - Fourth in the Colors in the Dark series, about what else but green, of course.
A tendency to expect a favorable outcome or to dwell on hopeful aspects. - The pessimists and the optimists...which are you?
question: - A random post to wonder why no A.M. has posted anything. Yes, indeed.
Pink's on Us - Are teachers really deserving of the wicked pink slip?
Poster of a Girl - Is being special and original truly important?...
One in Millions. - Feeling "one in a million" makes it all the better.
Politically-Challenged - If you think Condoleeza Rice is a side-dish...don't worry, you're not alone.
A.M. Votes for EARTH HOUR 2009 - Being 'lights out' for an hour is nothing, compared to what we can change.
Cash Cow - Oh, the grandeurs of $$$. But oh, the evils.

So how's that for a month of green, green...and more green? You'll be puking out gree--I mean, you'll be thinking of green in a brand new way after reading March's articles...*heh*.

Next month (April's) theme: Breaks and Bids.

-the clam.

Cash Cow

Money is important. You can do lots of things with money. Money is valued by people all over the world. Money makes the world go round. If you didn't have money, you'd be screwed, big time. You wouldn't pay rent/mortgage, buy food, buy necessities, gas, etc. Everyone needs money. More importantly, everyone wants money. That's no matter how often you call a fuckin' cow "meal ticket" or "money bags" behind their back, you envy them. You want what they have. Which is money, which means power, and it means luxury.

Sure, money can get to a lot of people's head. It does quite often actually. Still, you can't help but admit it'd be nice to have a few extra dollars for something, then there's something else, then you decide, "Heck, might as well get that other thing."

Money can get you a lot of things. Some people say it can't buy you true love, but hell it sure does help. Satisfaction? You may never get it, but if you're clever enough, you'll have just enough to get by. Happiness? Well, it would be nice not worrying about the bills, the house, or tuition anymore. Financial activities can get dangerously boring, not to mention tedious and frustrating. How about getting that house you always wanted? How about finding out a really interesting person is interested in you now that you're rich (money is interesting and special, shallow doesn't matter). Interesting and special things are always more...interesting and special, doesn't matter how or why they're interesting or special.

Honestly, people would say, money is not important. But those lying bastards would admit any day that they could be making more money, should be making money, or wouldn't miss a chance to easily make a shitload of money. So it doesn't matter.

Remember what they say: Cash is King

-digitaldelay

A.M. Votes for EARTH HOUR 2009

Billions of people around the world are going dark for an hour tonight, and A.M. is too (but for the sake of different time zones, we'll go off early and go back on later). If saving energy is as easy as switching your lights off for 60 minutes, you might want to flick that power switch of yours off, too.

VOTE EARTH!

-acquired minds.

Politically-Challenged

(thanks to adirondackbasecamp.com for image)

Besides those that really are interested in government and politics, how many of us can say that we know much about the government and politics? Ask me anything about the stimulus, the Congress, Senate, bills, healthcare, and all that mumbo-jumbo, and I wouldn’t know a darn thing…though I wish I did.

No one really ever cares about anything unless it directly affects them. The economy is one. I actually see people become more politically active because of how the economy affects them. Yeah, it only matters when the green stuff is involved. Nope, not when these groups of people are controlling our country.

We might be living, breathing, using, and crapping on this soil, but we don’t even give a thought to those sitting in state capital offices. Politically-challenged? No worries, you aren’t the only one. Let’s all hold hands and bathe in under-a-government-rock-limelight. But, apparently, we all know the President. You know, he’s not the only one with the steering wheel. There’s all the people under him, which he has to get through before making his plans and ideas go live.

Heck, there was a report somewhere that surveyed people on super duper basic questions about the U.S., and other things that the common American should know…right? Unfortunately not. We’re fine and happy, as long as our land remains free and untouchable. Which includes the green stuff. Go ahead, do whatever you want. *hugs land and $$$*

I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. It’s good that you don’t have to bother yourself with all the nooks and crannies of the government. Way too complicated. But it’s also bad when you’re not even able to name your governor (no, that’s not me…or is it?).

Well, that’s a different tone in any article I’ve written...which was under 10 minutes. :]

-the clam.

One in Millions.

What would be feel like to be one of those blades of grass among billions and trillions of others?
I would think we can relate, seeing how we're sort of one person, one in billions. You dont know everybody, all of those nice people that could be great friends that you'll never meet.
One dollar bill in a stack of a million...There wouldn't be much significance, would there?

Then how come that one dollar bill will someday be used?
And why did your loved ones pick you, if there are billions of others to choose from?
It shows that you're somehow special, even if it's to a few people, and not everyone.
The greener side of the lawn is indeed the brighter side.

I don't really know where I'm going with this...
Perhaps I'm trying to show you that there really is a "greener", brighter side to everything.
Or maybe, that everybody and everything is special, in its own way, to its own people.

Green may be a favorite color to lots and lots of people ;D
But there are these other colors to choose from. And everybody else likes all the other colors. But what is it about one color (one person) that draws others (or, doesnt, for that matter) to them?
And the answer, ladies and gentlemen, is a different one for everybody.
And maybe that answer isn't really important to those who don't like a certain thing, whatever it is. But that answer might mean a great deal to those who do like it, whatever "it" is.

Don't worry, you're important.
-my.great.ESCAPE.

Poster of a Girl

Surprises always help. It's always nice to have something..."special". Once you have it, you're different, one of a kind, better. Isn't that what we all want? A little bit of originality, a bit of non-cliche material. But it's dumb thought. Nothing in the world is more special than something else. For all I care, a 5-year-old's hand print is nicer than Michelangelo's work. Well, that's pretty predictable. Anything could be, the damned sidewalk too. That's the thing. Anything can be more special if you feel like making it that way. "This is the most beautiful sunset ever..." (It happens everyday). "Our love is so special" (Die bitches). "Isn't this band unique?" (no). Something always has to be special. If it's not, then it's nothing. Forget about it. It's not important. That seems like a problem. Who the hell defined "special" things. It's all in the heads of all of us bigots. We have to be the special part, we have to have the special things, know the special stuff. That poster of a girl isn't good unless she's hot, or, what a disgusting movie, he's ugly. Don't we miss the point on things sometimes? I'm not sure I can put this in words. It's a feeling a person gets. You see a person you think seems interesting, and from that point on, they are interesting. You find something that seems neat, and it becomes neat. First impressions always count for something. The way you first see something can always influence how you see it later. To be honest, I don't listen to the music I once did. I just gradually grew out of. It just doesn't seem to engage me anymore. But there was a time I did like it. Maybe I just finally found things that actually did seem right for me. I guess that's what it's all about. You just have to find the things that fit you. The problem is figuring out what it is. Those prejudices, those stereotypes, those generalizations, they interfere, and they always will. If you happen to recognize those...things...then the next problem is finding them. And again, the problem will be getting to them. And then, chances are, if you happen to get it, it won't last for half as long as you wanted it to.

It's as if, you made a list. In that list are all the people you know, the ones you like, or maybe also the ones you don't like. Maybe just your really good friends. Now, you think about why each one of them is so great, or why you're such good friends. If you can put down something like..."they're really cool, they're really good at this or that" or something, then fantastic. But if you say something more along the lines of "I don't know, they're nice I guess, but I like them, whatever", well I think that's pretty neat. You don't need anything "special" about that person to be close to them. They're just really neat, somehow, you don't care how, they just are, it's just the way they are. That's all you need to know.

(you could actually think of the same thing for anything really...music, art, technology, anything that you can have an opinion on)

Pink's on Us

(thanks to careerhubblog.com for the image!)

Green is always good news, it seems. When stocks are up, it’s green. Money is always deliciously green…at least, in the USA. Veggies, which are good for you, are green. Going green saves our Earth. Green lets you pass the intersection. Green means “CORRECT”. Green saves you from getting pinched to death. And all except for the green-eyed monster, of course :P.

Why, WHY do they have to let teachers suffer though? Schools all across California (and across the entire nation, probably) are having teachers laid off. Evil conniving pink slips. All because of budget cuts. Just so those government folks know--without education, there wouldn’t be a federal government.

They don’t even care about whether the teacher(s) are good or bad. They hand out pink slips as if they were free flyers. Only, it’s mandatory. “Take one…TAKE ONE, and DEAL with it!!” I’m sure schools don’t want to do this, and I understand that. They have no other choice. But there should be some other ways to manage the budget cuts and not have to make thousands of teachers jobless.

It just so happens that teaching is one of the lowest-paying jobs there are. If only they were paid a bit more, they could come up with a strategy like this one. Lowering the higher paid employee’s salaries so that it’s possible to keep from laying off as many employees as possible. It doesn’t hurt to have a CEO has great as that guy, either. If only all CEOs could be Caring Empathetic Officers.

In addition to teachers being cut, many classes and extracurricular activities are also being eliminated. Honors and AP classes may not be able to hold up, and schools are threatening to cut them completely unless the classes have 36 or more students enrolled (which is a very packed class as is). Students approaching high school in the near future will not be able to have their education to the fullest, and that’s terrible. Soon, they won’t be able to participate in an activity that they may really want to do. Also, teachers who only have one credential in a certain subject are at a very high risk of losing their jobs completely. What have we come to?!

*Pink Slip Friday* Show your support.

Oh, and put your money where your mouth is. :$

-the clam.

question:

why hasn't anybody else posted something?

I just wanted to post the photo on the left because it's absolutely amazing. Go here for the photo stream.

:)

ily

-karma p.

p.s. I'm aware I just wasted one post. But hey, I wanted to have some fun... and also post three articles in a row (yay me)

p.p.s. This green thing has to reach the end of the picture or else I might gain an OCD and react the way a person with an OCD would react and... well I don't know what will happen but I bet it's bad.

p.p.p.s. HINTHINT post something?

A tendency to expect a favorable outcome or to dwell on hopeful aspects.

"Pessimists are either right or pleasantly surprised." A phrase full of lots of meaning, in many different perspectives. Pessimism is the new black- it's what everyone is these days. I ask my friend why he's so pessimistic and he says he isn't, he's just being realistic. So does that mean that pessimists are the new realists? In my own humble opinion I think it means that the reality of everything is just a sad, disappointing one. It means that in "the current economic recession"- in this "time of crisis"- we are all unable to see past now and look at the future and look at the dreams we all once had... right?

For me, I believe that people influence others most. It's a fact of life. I mean look at religion, god is in all of us- he influences us. He tells us in our hearts what is right or wrong. Our best friends tell us that he/she isn't right for us- we dump them. They help us move on. Yet in many other ways society has lead to a generation of teenagers who don't have the self confidence to do what they can with the potential that they don't know they have. The normal thing to hear nowadays is "I don't think so" or "maybe, but I'm not sure". There aren't as many sure-thing yes and no's. In fact, I've never gone a day without a single ounce of doubt.

It's a sad reality, but the truth of the matter is that a lot of people are not as optimistic as they used to be. Optimism for them is "I'll get seven hours of sleep" instead of "I am going to march up to that boy grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him like he's never been kissed before". I don't think the former is quite as exciting as the latter. People nowadays seem unable to look for the silver lining. People nowadays say "I'm going to die- I'm not going to live after this" for simple things (I should know, I do this), instead of saying "I'll try my best and even if I don't do well at least I tried".

So the lesson today that I'm trying to tell you at 11:04 PM on a school night is a simple one. Everyone today is so caught up in putting themselves down that one day they won't be able to come back up. We have to learn to see through an optimistic point of view if we ever want to cherish the reality of situations. For, although you may be pleasantly surprised, I think that earning "it" after lots of "I knew I could do it" pays off a lot more.


Optimistically yours,
karma police

p.s. I'm sleepy...

colors in the dark: karma police

To choose any one color is difficult, but to describe them all is impossible. Due to my heavy procrastination and the fact that I already know next month's theme, I guess I'll have to do the color green. (that rhymed, holy heck!) If you guys have been wondering where I've been and whether or not I'll be back, please don't worry- I'm not dead! I'm only barely surviving (I'm kidding, really I am).

So... Green. When I think green it ranges from envy to recycling. But mostly, I think of the feeling of grass in the summer. That phrase "The grass is always greener" comes into my head, and also the image of green slime falling over people's head- but I don't think that really helps in educating a blind person's inability to see the color green. So let's start off with.. the basics? I'll just ramble and whatnot.

Blue and yellow make green, so you can picture that the sun and the sky make green, which is the grass. The oxygen you breathe and the sunlight you feel, that put together creates the soft grass you walk on. Picture that. The different hues of green range from the different kinds of grass, in aspect. Some is drier than others, some is much more lush and soft. It's all preference, but I prefer my grass not to be wet because I'd love to just lay in it. Sometimes green is muddier colored, that is when the grass is wet with rain and the mud kind of seeps through and when you walk in the grass you slip a little. I guess that's what green is, in aspects.

Green also reminds you of saltwater, which in many ways also relates to blue. Blue and green usually go hand in hand, that's why the ocean always has blue and green hues that make it ocean colored. When you're in the ocean just know you're swimming in blue and green. At night time, the yellow comes back into play when the stars come out. Stars aren't really yellow, but picture them to be- yellow twinkles in the sky. Little pieces of the sun that attempt to warm your face, but usually can't.

At this point if you're by the beach and all of this is happening, you should search for a patch of grass to sit on. That grass will be cool and soft and basically, that's dark green. Dark green is quite soothing. It's much more peaceful and at the same time quite brooding. Just don't fall asleep, because I think that's a dangerous thing to do....

So, what is green? Green is blue and yellow- the sky and the sun. Green is grass. I think that's why it's all go green nowadays- protect the grass?

I forgot how to end these things properly,

Karma Police

p.s. for the mushy hearted

February's Theme: Heartful Desire

A month February has been... Our first anniversary whizzed by like it never came. But that's alright. That just shows that we somehow have lives. *cough*

I'll cut straight to it:

yippee - Random blurb on Tegan & Sara, 2010 Olympics, and our so-called lives.
Due to copyright laws, I am unable to show the title of this post. - The pirating of music on the internet.
Bitter and just a little sweeter - Some [fun] facts about Valentine's.
Distinctive, Not Separated - A point of view on The Last Airbender casting decisions.
I Shouldn't Have Said That - Inappropriate things that are said, due to our race.
Let's Get to It - Love is only describable by those that are loved or loving.
Routine. - Is everyday a schedule?

Colors in the Dark series:

the clam - Feeling cold?...or maybe blue?
digital delay - Gray but never dull.
my.great.ESCAPE - Why choose a color when you can have all colors?

Put into March:
karma police - Green is limitless in all the mediums we do.

There you have it. Let's get to next month, March, already (:P): The Greener Side.

-the clam.

Colors in the Dark: my.great.ESCAPE.

Okay, while we were coming up with this 'color' theme post, I thought to myself, almost all the colors of this world are beautiful. Why should I have to choose one?

Red. A bright red reminds me of the embarassment I felt when I got hit in the face by a tennis ball. That's the bad part.
Maroon. A darker red, like maroon, is more appealing. It's the color of warmth and cheerfulness in the air, sort of like around the holiday season...
Orange. Orange is like, a person who you dont quite like, but dont quite not like. An acquaintance, you could say? It's the taste of tangy sweetness, like citrus (hah), where something's sort of sweet, but sort of sour...and you just cant quite decide. Orange is also the color of victory, the feeling you get when you win:]
Yellow. Yellow's not my favorite color (at all). It's because it can be too bright (not that a blind person would know what "bright" looked like). But it's something you can't stare at, something you must look away from. Yellow could be describing a person who is very vibrant and positive, all the freakin time.
Green. Green is a sigh of relief. Getting something off your chest, a sh!tload of work or some guilt you've been putting off. To feel free...of everything.
Dark Green. Dark green describes a mysterious person. Someone who wears a mask and doesnt talk about their feelings much. Dark green is a very lonely person that needs to be needed.
Dark Blue. You probably dont know where I'm getting this, but to me, dark blue is the feeling of falling head over heals for a special person. Having butterflies in your stomach and your face lighting up. Dark blue is the feeling of coming home after the most wonderful night out, and feeling just infinite.
Purple. If you have a great friend that you've known and can always talk to, then you know what purple looks like. A beautiful friend that is there for you to love you, to make you laugh, to be there when you cry, and for you to do the same in return. That's purple.
Light Pink. Pink is the sweeeet taste of cotton candy (or any type of candy, really) that just lingers in your mouth.
White. White is the feeling of emptyness and the color of something new.
Gray. Gray is doing the same old thing, but never getting bored of it.
Black. Black is the color of forever: far and wide, never ending.

What color would you describe yourself?
-my.great.ESCAPE.

Colors in the Dark: digital delay

I decided on the color gray. It's a personal favorite of mine, although I've decided not to try and ponder a lot about why it is. To me, gray has always just been that color. Blue is beloved, red is strong, yellow is bright, white is soft, black is dark and sleek, but gray, gray is just gray. It's dull. It's doesn't stand out. It's just...there. It's an absolutely wonderful color though. I wouldn't say that its "overlooked", or "misunderstood". It's just...gray.

Gray is also a neutral color. It's in between the ever battling colors of white and black. It's right in the middle. It's not extreme. It's not vibrant. It's not "earthy", or "dream-like". Gray is a pretty modest color, it doesn't have a whole lot to brag about. Gray is the color version of having a day that's not great, bad, simple, complex, or frustrating, but just...one of those days. More like, another one of those days.

There's not a whole lot to say about it. It's the color of gloomy days. It's the color of smog. It's the color of an abundance of everyday items and occurrences. It just doesn't happen to be as lucky as all the other colors. It shouldn't be pitied, you shouldn't feel sorry for it. It doesn't get to be the "indie" color either, black gets that title. It just doesn't get to be as special as all the colors. But that's ok, I'm sure gray goes along just fine as gray.

-digitaldelay

thanks to arcticeice.org for the image

Colors in the Dark: the clam

(big thanks to dryicons.com for the image!)

It’s tough to feel missed out. Especially missing out on the view of the world. The sounds, the smell, the feel…all are terrible things to live without, but not being able to see is most probably the worst (in my opinion). I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the position of a person who has been vision-impaired since childbirth. Never to know what a human looks like, what your parents look like, what you yourself looks like, or what color is. Yeah, color…does color exist in a dark world? It’s hard to even think of colors when you haven’t really seen it before in your life.

Blue’s a particular favorite color of mine (if it’s not so obvious; I practically live and breathe in blue *ahem*). Yeah, yeah, it’s the color of the ocean, the sky, your date’s eyes, the Democrat’s represent. But a blinded person is completely oblivious to that. What a shame it is. Blue is such a brilliant color [/ultra-bias].

It’s the kind of color where you feel relaxed. The serene feel (*plays zen music*). Coolness, too, in fact. No, not I-am-freakin’-awesome-cool, the easy-breezy-Covergirl-cool. It’s the color you think about when you think of the cold. Like a nice…yummy…Slurpee on a hot summer day… *drool*. Or, or, a glass of icy cold tropical blueberry punch, sweet dulcet juice quenching that throat… *realizes puddle of drool in front*.

Alright, er, no more fantasizing about yummy drinks. There’s no point in that. No one will know what “blue” is. Oh, how about, the frigid icecaps at the poles of the Earth. Blue is that freezing, sub-zero chilly color that makes you shiver and tremble and shake and makes you hunger for the great warmth of the--

Okay, BAD idea. Blue…well, blue is the feeling you get when you stop and think about all the people in the world, and you wonder, “Why did it have to be me?”. Everyone deserves a fair chance at the world. Even though we will never be able to look through your eyes, we still try to be as understanding as possible. It’s not a curse, and it’s not a misfortune. In fact, it’s unique. You have the imagination that no one else would ever have. You can create every possible thing in your mind, and no one would have to share it with you. It’s all yours to keep, and to change at your will. So…don’t be blue. Define it however which way you want to. Haha, so don’t feel left out. We’re the ones left out of your beautiful world.

-the clam.

Routine.

Are you the type of person who likes routine?
Knowing what you're going to do next and when.
Liking how everything is in order and what's supposed to be.
Not minding boredom.
Mind you, that's so not me.
But I have routine anyway.
Even though I actually do mind boredom.
And I actually dont like knowing what I am going to be doing at that time tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that.
But I do it anyway.
Because my life is routine.
How do I change that, exactly?
I'd want to do something exciting, like climb the world's highest mountain or save a life. Just something amazing, you know?



Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? (- Jack's Mannequin's Dark Blue) I know how that feels.
At a party, where you're mind's set on something else.
Sitting at lunch where you're not quite acknowledged.
Or in the middle of a dance floor, without a partner to hold.
It's this real emotion. Deep and intense. But not in a good way.

I am just jumping into random puddles of ideas today.
-my.great.ESCAPE.

Let's Get to It

Who said that love is overrated? Those who don't know the feeling? Those who have never loved nor been loved? You know the saying, "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" (or something along those lines). It really is a good quote, in my opinion.

People say 'I love you' all the time, and most of them really do mean it. The select few that don't, well, shame on them. You say you love your family, you love your friends, you love a special someone... But are all of those the same type of love? Of course, falling in love is different; it can be quite an easy thing to do. But how do you know you are 'in love'? When you've got nothing to compare it to, how do you know the magic is happening? People always say 'You'll just KNOW'...Fair enough?

A boyfriend here, a girlfriend there. They exchange 'Love you''s all the time, but what if they only think they're in love? What if, in the most random future, they break up? Is it okay to be in love at the time? I'm thinking, sure it is...But not for a week or a month, it isn't. Is it okay to be in love more than once? I'll let you be the judge of that.

If there is "the perfect one" for everyone, a soulmate, then good...But what if I never meet them, ever? Walk right pass them?

Like karma police had said, Valentine's day is a happy nice day for lovers. But those without are definitely not alone. You can't go wrong with flowers:D

Happy Luuurrrvvveee Day,
my.great.ESCAPE.