where are you?

Does anyone ever notice that when finding something new, you tend to feel "revived" (or whatever)? It's like... you find a shirt that looks really freaking good on you, and just by wearing it you feel like a completely new person. You find a band that nobody's heard of, and suddenly you feel like you're in on the best kept secret of this century. Or, maybe, it doesn't even have to be something new. It could be something old. Something you forgot about. Running into old friends and seeing the change in them, it makes you really aware that you are the way you are. It makes you wonder if in their eyes, you've changed, too.

When people think of revived, what do they think of? Reincarnation? Refreshed? Renewed? I guess all those apply, but for me, right now, it's that feeling of being aware you're alive. It's looking around, blinking a few times, and seeing the world from a light that you don't normally see it. Suddenly, everything's different, right? Suddenly, for one moment, it's like you've FOUND THAT MISSING PIECE! (coughcough). It's not for forever, but it's for a moment. For one moment you're feeling complete, and completely happy and content about your life.

I guess when it comes to this kind of stuff- finding that missing piece- you can't really look for it, but you can't really sit around waiting, either. It's like that method of taking off a ring that's stuck on your finger, or looking for something you really want. You have to pretend you don't want to find it, or look away and tell yourself that the ring isn't even on your finger in the first place. So, I guess, if you think mathematically, you can tell yourself 'I don't want to find my missing piece...' and your missing piece will find you.....?

I'm not sure if that works, but it's worth a shot, right?

But, my dear great escape, I think that when it comes to these things there's not telling. There is never a guarantee on whether or not that missing piece will make you feel happy. Just like how the other pieces to you aren't always ones that make you happy. You have to think of circumstances, and various factors. I mean, what if the missing piece has a tendency to change shape every once in a while? I don't think people have one solid shape, therefore, the missing piece that you seek will always be fluctuating... right?

I don't know, but for me, it seems unsettling that the one thing that can make you happy/happier is something that you don't know, yet know all at once. But then again, isn't everything always a little unsettling? Oooh.. How thrilling !

here I am !

karma police