Tuesday, April 15, 2008

And I'm the only one to blame.

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Sometimes, I really think I lack a big thing called pride. Pride is supposed to be that big, whoop-de-doo feeling you get when you accomplish something small, something important, something big.......Pride is that proud feeling of undefeat, when you feel as if nothing can stop you at all.

Pride can be a wonderful thing. It shows your self-confidence, your ability to be the best of what you can be, to feel like the world...!

But you know that one feeling you get? When you feel as if you're the absolute best there is, and no one can top that?? That's pride also, but that's when pride gets out of hand. It's when pride becomes cockiness, conceit, and very rotten. This is when resentment forms, even though "Hate" is a very strong word. Pride may get the best of you.

The absolute opposite of pride? I'd like to say disappointment. Ever feel like you're just not good enough? Oh, I'm sure; I'm feel it all the time, too. It turns to upset and frustration.

Pride and disappointment show all the time, especially in SPORTS. It's crazy.

  • "Why didn't coach play me? I'm a benchwarmer now??"

  • "I cost us our game...It's all my fault. If only i made that basket!"

Believe it or not, many people go hard on themselves, and that's good, really. But it's not usually necessary and ends up bringing people down. It really depends if you play more as an individual or as a team.
Aside from that, families are a big deal at sporting events, too. They make a difference. There are two types: the supportive family:

  • "Good job!"...

  • "You're doing great! Keep it up!"...

  • "Defense!"...

  • "Don't worry about it, you'll do better next time"...

And then there are people like my "supportive" family:

  • The father figure had not shown up at a single softball game because "softball is boring"...

  • Instead of a "good job" after an exhausting basketball game, you get a "You could've ran faster." or

  • "You lost again??" or "

  • Your shooting position is not correct."

  • and all this other shitty feedback that you've already heard too many times.

You tell yourself,

  • I've improved...

  • I DID play better this time...

  • You could not run as fast as I just had, up and down that court.

  • I WAS good enough!

But sometimes, "good enough" is not GOOD ENOUGH...And this is disappointment. Frustration that you've got no support, but shakes of head instead. Criticism at every little thing you do, right OR wrong. Upset because you should've done better? What happened to pride here, people? What happened to that big grin you'd get after stirking out three batters in a row? That whip of joy you'd get after you score a goal. What happened to roaring crowds and claps and cheers? See those people celebrating? That should've been us...That could've been us...



digital delay said...

thats utterly true....

when you win or accomplish something good..you feel like the king of the world

but when you lost or sucked...you feel terrible...like..you suck..ha

terrific writing!

the clam said...

lol, kinda like getting a B on a math test...(at least for us o_O).

haha, good article :D.