Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Just One Moment, Frozen.

The way time works for someone like me is this: Fast, quick, and unnoticed. For a while now, it seemed like my life moved with me; so therefore nothing changed. My Mom was still younger than she looked, my Dad still had that too large belly, and my brother- although married- was just my brother.

Maybe it was because everything came in a pace, but sometimes when something throws you off, it really throws you off.

It was any other day, and it was cold out despite the fact that it was almost Summer. I exit my Grandmother's house, and walk towards the parking lot, where my Father's car is. As I'm walking I see my friend's mother walking out of the hall leading to the lot. I smile at her, and suddenly, running out of the hall behind her is her youngest son.

Now, my friend had moved here two years ago. He has a family of five: three boys, and one Mom. No Dad. Nothing. Well, when my friend had first moved here, the youngest son was just a baby- he couldn't even walk. This all registered as I watched this little human run by me, laughing gleefully.

And I realized at that moment, that a lot of time had passed. Two years had turned a baby who needed his mother to carry him to a little boy who could run around and see the world. For a minute, I just stood there, shocked.

I remembered all this stupid stuff that I never really remember until I'm sad. I remembered seeing my friend before he was my friend, when he was the new neighbor, and he was kneeling down and comforting his younger brother, who then was just a little boy. I thought about how that little boy was now in the fourth grade, and I thought about how my friend wasn’t as I thought of him then. He wasn’t kind and caring, he ditched class and did who knows what.

And I just stood there, and for the first time in who knows when, I just felt incredibly sad. I realized I was growing up. There was no Neverland, and no matter what I wouldn’t be able to imagine myself a meal in a few years. I wouldn’t be carefree, and the responsibilities that are already beginning to pile up are going to pile higher.

Eventually of course, I continued walking, feeling incredibly bittersweet. But now, when I think back to that one moment, that little boy rushing past, I just smile. It’s amazing what can trigger such a feeling, but it’s moments like that that really give me a reality check.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic,

-Karma Police

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