Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Edge of Safe

Guilt can be one of several banes and spoils, but is it not just desert? There’s a reason guilt is there in the first place. Guilt doesn’t allow you to focus and look ahead. It grasps you and keeps you put, paralyzed, capsized in a raging storm with no way out. When you stay in that storm, you can’t really expect to fare all too well. But your pride can get in the way. Arrogance keeps you in the storm guilt trapped you in. You’re not willing to admit defeat, even when you know the battle was never winnable in the first place. You don’t change, you don’t plan to, and you don’t see it ever really happening, even though you want to get out of the storm.

Some people need to be taken down. They need to be forced to do something. To be told to. It’s not like they’re slaves or anything, but they don’t trust themselves. They don’t think they’re capable of anything, and they don’t they deserve anything. They know that whatever choice they make is usually crap, as it’s based off of themselves, and their views, which are crap too.

People don’t change. Really, pretty much everyone has their roots firmly planted in the ground. Yes, there are exceptions, but for the most part, people don’t change. You may look at them and tell yourself, “I’d love to eat a donut right now, and what the hell happened to you?”, but maybe, you never really knew that person. Maybe it was all a fake, and you never bothered to see past it, to dig a bit deeper than what was on the surface. I mean, just look at oil, it’s not exactly sitting there in a little puddle waiting to be used now is it?

You only get a few seconds to make a decision, but you have a million hours to regret, applaud, or not give a shoot about that decision. From the smallest thing in the world, to the most gut-wrenching, you could regret it for the rest of your life, which would be terribly unhealthy. Yet you can’t help but look back and say, what a dope I was. I just wasted a few seconds, plus those million hours, of precious time.

With those million hours you used up thinking back, you were probably talking to yourself in the head, or at least imagining yourself talking to...something. Whatever it is, it can be annoying having to listen to yourself for so long (at least for me it is).

When you fall in the dirt face first, who’s there to help you back? Plenty of people, actually. Lifting yourself up all the time can get tiring; I’m not exactly a 10 lbs. dumbbell now am I?

You know the feeling, and you see it coming from miles away, but hey, you stick around anyway. (hehe…rhymes…)

-digital delay

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the clam said...

lol, "f word (feelings)"

'nother great one.

my.great.ESCAPE. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
my.great.ESCAPE. said...

This article so totally calls out YOU.
Haha. I loved it.
Really meaningful, all that was between the lines..

[[...i even read it twice, but did i miss something?? what's the f word (feelings) thing about??]]

Anonymous said...

Great article, like always. A Tegan & Sara inspiration for the title? :)

--N. S.