Thursday, February 28, 2008

"Mother, where'd you put the prime steak?"

What to do when your mother or wife isn't home to cook for you:

Easy ways to keep yourself alive when you're afraid of burning the house down because you do not know how to use the stove.

Now, before you say anything, cooking isn't just a chick thing, guys can cook, too. There's no need to be embarrassed of it. I can not cook that well, but I can manage to survive without my mommy. Um, er, did I just say mommy? I meant Mother. Yes, that's what I meant to say. Ehem... Alright, moving on.

You can make many things without using the stove, but guys, if you have to, please exercise caution.

1. Cold Cereal

Ingredients: Cereal and Milk.
Directions: Stir the cereal and milk together. It doesn't matter which goes first, just remember the bowl. Serves one person.

2. Sandwiches

Ingredients: Bread, and...stuff to put in the bread...
Directions: Put the stuff inside the bread...and then it...

3. Cheese and Crackers

Ingredients: Cheese and, er, crackers...
Directions: You put the cheese on top of the crackers.

4. Hot Pockets

Ingredients: This little thing that's called a hot pocket.
Directions: Put the hot pocket in the microwave, and put 45 minutes on the turntable. Take the plastic wrapper off and wrap it in a piece of aluminum foil. Once you see a blinding light go off in the microwave, your hot pocket is ready.

I make it like that all the time. The fire department had to come most of the time, but other than that, my hot pocket tasted okay. A little burnt, but still okay.

5. Left overs

Microwaving left overs is a good way to satisfy your hunger. Cover the plates with this see through foil-ish thing, stick them in the microwave, and press the buttons for the turntable.

6. Campbell's Soups

Stick the whole can in the microwave and watch it explode.


There'll be more random advice in my next post. Remember to check for more updates from the group.

Nathaniel Stanton


My bad, I don't how it happened, but the second comment by I deleted somehow. Sorry, ma'am.

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I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I said...

hotpockets for 45 minutes in the microwave?!?!? LOL no wonder its burnt... hmmm CAJUN STYLE!!!!

ermm... campbell soup can in the microwave huh? youre just asking for it from your parents when they come home. LOL

Anonymous said...

great advice nathaniel! thanx bunches! now i will never go hungry again!