I Hold

You know you shouldn’t hold it, you know you should drop it, leave it behind. Forget about it, but you can’t. You hold it in, whatever it is, a loss, a victory, a mistake, a misunderstanding, or humiliation. You hold it, and you feel it. You don’t embrace it, you try to shun it. But you hold onto it anyway. You never let it go, you never let it fade. It haunts you always, maybe not at every second or moment of your life, but it fades back into memory occasionally or perhaps constantly. It could be the littlest thing in the world, but it will build up. It will build, grow, soon enough, it could be this massive object that creeps behind your footsteps, and waits for you to fall. If you fall, and this object has grown enough, then you might not get back up. You could be pinned down, and forced to let it go. You could be forced to do the thing you were so afraid to do, the thing you refused to do, would not do. Finally, it is gone. But the manner it which it left may not be so subtle. Now, a new burden could be placed on you. The eyes all around you see you, watch you, and focus on nothing but you. The pressure builds, the weight becomes unbearable. You know you shouldn’t, you know, especially when you feel it building, but who cares really.

When you sit back, and you look back, you wonder, what were you even looking for in the first place? What were you searching for? What made you do this in the first place?

-digital delay

the dark knight!