Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Staring at Headlights

Do you ever lie to yourself? Disguise the facts from yourself, manipulate them, or perhaps completely disregard them just so they fit your wants and feelings. Maybe you’d even like them to be true, you’d love for them to be right, but you don’t accept it. In the back of your head you always think, maybe, just maybe it really is true, but your mind, your consciousness tells you no, that you can’t think of it like that. You could do this to yourself for any number of reasons, but they all add up to one thing, you’re afraid. You’re scared of hurting yourself, others, those you care about, or you’re afraid of yourself. You’re not willing to face yourself, to stand up to yourself, to look yourself in the eye. You can’t tell yourself to, you can’t force yourself to, and you just don’t have the right mindset to do it. You’re scared of what you could do, of what could happen, of how stupid you could look, of how useless it would be, how futile it would become. Then, you just think too much. Everything you do or say, you think about to yourself, and everything else that you don’t think about, ends up falling apart.

Have you ever thought that being there for those you care about, could mean hiding from them? To protect them, you hide from them, create some kind of shallow mask for them to see. You’re afraid that them seeing you would create more harm than good. And you believe that when you do let go of that mask, when you free yourself, bombs and battles are there instead dreams and wishes.

You need to stand in the spotlight you’re afraid of. You need to stare at those headlights, and realize, that standing there won’t do much less than send you to a hospital broken and wounded, or worse. You have to move, it doesn’t matter how slowly, since you’re almost there anyway.

I want to start a little something. If this works…then hooray. If it doesn’t then I’ll look like a big butt…

But here goes…

I want all of you…anyone who’s reading this... to name something they really like…or love…it could be a band, album, movie, t.v. show, person, ideal, anything (or all, or several)…and just say why you like it…and then…I want you to respond in some way to the person before you…I don’t mean bashing their opinions or anything…but disagreeing is fine…so…let’s see how the fireworks fly tonight…

Well…the first person who does it can respond to whoever they want I guess
It can be in a comment…or in a post...or anything

Goodness I’m seriously scared about this and I don’t know why I’m doing this…but…as one of my favorite people ever once said….,”but who fu****g cares?”

-digital delay

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the clam said...

...I like clams.

And, since theres no one to respond to, I'll respond to your article:

It's great!

my.great.ESCAPE. said...

You think too much.
I think too much.
But my point? I love the way you think :]
Ah-mazing. This article put me in awe :)

Here goes nothing.
Something random.
I like. . .fantasy, fairytales, and happy endings, even though those dont happen in real life.

And, clams are random :]

nietzsche216 said...

Indeed, there're no such things as happy endings - only new beginnings and bittersweet final├ęs.

And I like Moral Relativism.

karma police said...

clams are only good at certain places.

I love the feeling you get after watching a movie that you particularly enjoy or feel attached to. It's the most interesting feeling in the world.

I love your articles that always attract attention and are always well written.

I love love in general

mourning.glory said...

Great article. One of my new favorites actually. I love... the soft piano songs they play for korean dramas, and the way the world seems to blur around you when you run as fast as you can. I love looking out the car window just after sunset, watching the colors of the sky blend together and other cars whizzing past as we drive through nameless places, on a long trip when my parents think I'm asleep like my sister is.

mourning.glory said...

Oh! I forgot to respond! Hmmmm... I agree with karma police. "I love love in general." I think the kind of love you get from your family and true friends, it overpowers mistakes made or hurt feelings. Like how willing they are to do something (big or small) for you, when they really didn't have to do anything at all.