Thursday, March 13, 2008


“We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

What is fear, exactly? And what do we fear of? It ranges from being as simple as that geometry test tomorrow to something as complicated as the end of the world. What are YOU afraid of? Disappointing someone? Public speaking? Death of your own or a loved one? Loss of love, or even love itself? We can find a reason to fear everything and anything. When you think about it, isn’t fear just a psychological thing? Something our mind just creates when we imagine the worst that could happen? If we separate the world into the categories of the brave or the cowardly, where would you stand? Can we even do that? Everyone has the brave and cowardly moments.

Perhaps Roosevelt was right. Is life really about taking risks? But I admit I am afraid of doing something I may regret. I just don’t trust myself enough to know that I’ll make the right decisions in my life, thus screwing it up. Everyone sees me as the girl who has everything together. I’m just as big of a mess as anybody else, maybe even bigger. But everyone is bound to make mistakes and I know I will. I need to accept that. “The brave may not live long, but the cautious do not live at all.” Yes, it was from the movie The Princess Diaries. But who said a Disney movie can’t be insightful?

When I was little, I was terribly scared of Chuck E. Cheese. Yup, that guy in the rat suit. I think I still am. Something about that rat still gives me the heebie-jeebies. However, I am perfectly fine with Mickey Mouse. In fact, Mickey Mouse is awesome! Weird, huh? I know he’s also in the “fictional rodent character” family, but Disney has a way with things like that.

You know, some people are afraid of a tarnished reputation/low social status. Some pretend not to be, but really are. Some are truly not. Everybody is busy worrying about what other people think. You know what? Cool people aren’t people who follow the crowd or even people who go out of their way to be different to prove that they’re not following the crowd. (Was that hard to follow?) Cool people are the people who just are and that’s good enough for them. Cool people aren’t people who never embarrass themselves. That’s impossible. Everyone does. Cool people are able to honestly laugh (maybe even snort) at themselves. Isn’t it strange how many things are connected to stereotypes and social junk?

I think what makes some of us fear death is the fact that this life is all that we’ve ever known and they don’t want to leave that. I am not afraid of death; it’ll happen to everybody someday. I’m afraid of time; having too much or not enough. I am afraid of not being able to do anything with my life. I want to make an impact and change the world for the better. I know that was such a Miss America answer, probably right along up there with, “World peace,” but I mean it. I want to live, not just exist.

In some ways, I am afraid of knowledge. “As they say, ignorance is bliss. Empty, meaningless bliss, but bliss nonetheless.” - Broken Crayons, Delilah121c. At the same time, I am scared of the dark. I am scared of not knowing what lies ahead and being vulnerable. I know it sounds contradicting, but it’s true.

I am afraid of the future; my own and the world’s. Some have their entire life mapped out perfectly, right down to the type of carpet their future house will have. I don’t even know what career path I want to go down. I want a goal to work toward, but I’m just making it up as I go along. What about the fact that we are killing our planet? Everyone says this, but does nothing. I don’t want to be one of those people. What can we do to keep the earth safe for the generations to come? Time is a factor here, which is one of the reasons that I fear it.

I just don’t want to grow up. Well, I couldn’t find a more sophisticated way to put it, so I just said it the way it is. Ahhh... the carefree state of being a child. It seems safer to be protected than exposed to that exciting, but harsh world out there. We are caught in between. Past being a child, but not yet adults. No, I’m not going to give you the puberty talk. Gosh, I got enough of that from last year’s life science class. Adults treat you like a child, but expect you to take on the responsibilities of an adult and blame acting out on your “crazy teenage hormones.” In some ways, I enjoy belonging in a grey area. Everything is not necessarily black or white. That’s the beauty of it, but also its downfall.

How do you conquer a fear? Is facing it head on really the best way? I think so. Honestly, I’ve never been good at facing my own fears. But I think that we all eventually have to.

All my love,

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karma police said...

-thumbs up-
Very good, my dear.

my.great.ESCAPE. said...

this is too true :]

digital delay said...

freakishly good...made me want to sit here in awe and never write again

Delilah121c said...

thanks for quoting broken crayons

i'm beyond flattered

sweet blog you have here!

em. said...

aww (: great post! :D